Is fear of commitment and yo-yoing normal?

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

My significant other and I have been on the precipice of moving in together twice now.

The first time was 8 months ago.  We were right on the verge of making it happen when she got extremely distant and detached.  She got super reactive/mean and didn't "come back" until I agreed to move our timeline to September.

So here we are, in July - and the same thing is happening again.  A horrible, extended distance period along with reactivity and meanness.  She's currently citing a need to "heal" that precludes me from moving in at this point, but to me, it sounds like rampant fear of commitment.  Why?  There's been no effort to "heal" in the 7 months since we reached the first impasse, yet suddenly, here we are.

Is this normal?  Does this happen with other people?  And if so, what can I do about it?  I've been living with next to nothing in a holding pattern, and I'm really getting hopeless that this is ever going to materialize, yet she swears she loves me and that there's hope.

[doc33]

My significant other and I have been on the precipice of moving in together twice now.

The first time was 8 months ago.  We were right on the verge of making it happen when she got extremely distant and detached.  She got super reactive/mean and didn't "come back" until I agreed to move our timeline to September.

So here we are, in July - and the same thing is happening again.  A horrible, extended distance period along with reactivity and meanness.  She's currently citing a need to "heal" that precludes me from moving in at this point, but to me, it sounds like rampant fear of commitment.  Why?  There's been no effort to "heal" in the 7 months since we reached the first impasse, yet suddenly, here we are.

Is this normal?  Does this happen with other people?  And if so, what can I do about it?  I've been living with next to nothing in a holding pattern, and I'm really getting hopeless that this is ever going to materialize, yet she swears she loves me and that there's hope.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey doc33, Welcome!  That emotional yo-yo-ing sounds like there is more going on than you may be aware of.  Presumably there's a reason why she is dragging her feet.  What do you think is the real reason?  What are your gut feelings?

LuckyJim