Where to begin?

[violetskye0]

I'm not really sure where to begin so I'll tell you a little about my story. My mom has BPD/NPD. Growing up, I always thought I was the problem. I had anxiety and depression as a result of her manipulation and control. My senior year of high school I started counseling, where I very quickly discovered that my mom was the root of everything. I began to learn coping skills, but my mom starting amping up her "game" when I used them. Soon after, I left for college. Things were way better for me because of the very limited contact. However, I'm back for the summer and things have taken a turn for the worse. I'll be gone all day and she will call me 100 times, of course I very seldom answer because I know she is just trying to get control. She rages every night and triangulates my dad into it to try and regain control. I know how to work with her because of my counseling- but I feel horrible that my normal dad gets roped into her manipulation. Anyone else experience any of this?

[Kwamina]

Hi violetskye0

Dealing with a BPD parent can be quite difficult indeed. I have a BPD mom too and have also found this very challenging. I am sorry you now find yourself in this stressful environment again. Great to hear though that you got support in the form of counseling and were able to see what was really going on in your family. Has your mother ever gotten any kind of help for her issues? Has she ever in any way acknowledged that there might be something wrong with the way she behaves?

You also mention your dad, does he too think your mother has BPD/NPD? Do you perhaps feel like your dad lets himself be controlled by your mother out of fear, obligation and/or guilt?

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