Hey mntsmith: I'm sorry you are having such a tough time with your mom. Was there a specific event that led you to go NC?
I know the no contact can't continue- because I would like to attend family functions with out drama- but I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed ( I'm already getting Facebook messages from her friends) I'm also afraid that she will show up here- we live about 2 hours apart. I don't know what to do- I need advice.
Best to just ignore the Facebook messages from her friends. You don't want to get into a drama triangle with them. I believe there is a way to restrict them, without blocking them, but perhaps it might be best to block your mom's friends. (nothing good will come from their interaction). BPD mixed with Facebook is a recipe for disaster.
Perhaps it might be wise to practice what you might say or do, if your mom were to show up on your doorstep. What would she likely say/do? Would she be verbally or physically?abusive?
How do I find a therapist to talk to- should I look for one that specializes in BPD? I've been looking on line but I'm not sure what type of therapist would be best
For some people, it might depend on their insurance and what choices they have within certain limitations. If you will be paying out of pocket, then you can have more options. It might be helpful for you to find a therapist who has some experience with treating personality disorders. Most psychologist (with a PHD), should be able to help you, even if personality disorders aren't their main focus.
What are your goals for therapy? Do you just want to understand BPD and your mom (and perhaps deal with FOG: Fear, Obligation and Guilt), do you want to manage your own possible anxiety and/or depression.
If you are in the US, the link below can help you search for a therapist. After you enter your zip code, you will be connected with another page where you can narrow your search. If you click the "additional" button, on the categories, you will find "personality disorders".
FIND A THERAPIST
