Analysis Paralysis - Is this common?

[HopinAndPrayin]

Anyone else facing analysis paralysis as they progress in recovery?

I'm off work for the week and am finding with all this free time I'm stuck in analysis paralysis in terms of:
-which of 10 books I want to read during the break
-what household tasks I want to get done
-whether to take time to play the piano, learn guitar, cook, or do some coloring in my adult coloring books to de-stress
-whether I should go somewhere since I have 9 days off
-if I should look at a career change
-if I should sell my house and move somewhere else

So instead, I've been doing little chores around the house and binge watching series that are helping me get better perspective and reconnect with my inner spunky side.

Part of me feels like it's a reaction to having so much of my time before stuck in endless fights that if I gave up during would result in retaliation based on whatever odd belief my exBPD had gotten locked in, so I could do nothing else.  My life became this adaptive distortion (e.g groceries delivered, finding ways to have him drive me to appointments because if I had an appointment and he wasn't driving me, he would take my car and leave me stranded).  So now I have all this freedom and my agency is being restored, but I am somehow overwhelmed with all the options, and if I'm honest, a little scared about putting myself back out there for both friendships and potentially relationships.  

The answer for me is to live in the moments of today and give myself space.  I don't have to make all these decisions today.  But I am keenly aware that the first day of vacation I am feels with this anxiety and FOMO (fear of missing out).  I can't help but think it's a reaction to just how very much I missed out by hunkering down for so long trying to ride out the storm of BPD.

[Emotions]

I am two weeks into my break, and I feel felt the same as you... .my suggestion is to make sure you exercise and then you are forced to "relax" afterward because you are mentally inspired and physically tired good luck and ENJOY your freedom if possible

[Panda39]

Yep I can do this too.

I have OCD tendencies and can over plan and over extend before a vacation. I always joke that I have a hamster in my head on a wheel... .his name is "Bob" and before a vacation he at a full sprint and by the end of the vacation he's taking a nap!   The key for me is to find balance a little work/chores and a little play and as I start getting into the vacation I begin to relax more and become more spontaneous.

Panda39

[HopinAndPrayin]

Thanks Panda and Emotions!  I ended up doing some chores I had been procrastinating on, which tuckered me out.  I can tell I'm starting to settle into relaxation today.  It is this gradual slow down.

"Bob" made me chuckle.  It totally feels that way. 

[Lucky Jim]

Hey H&P, I would suggest that only you can answer that list of questions; we can't tell you what to do.  If you are unsure, I suggest you listen to your gut feelings.  Mindfulness meditation is a good way to get back in touch with your core.  Strive to be authentic!  It's OK if you are unsure.  Suggest you sit with your feelings and just observe.  You get the idea!

LuckyJim