BPD?

[Mr Mom of 4]

From reading I have done it seems to me that most of these articles are men as the BPD using silent treatment as tool. In my case, my wife of 7 years I feel is possible a narcissistic. She consistently used the silent treatment against me in a very extreme manner. I couldn't even tell you how long it lasted. We had twins 5 years ago, her pregnancy was an emotional rollercoaster where she spent much of her time crying in the bathroom for hours on end for reasons that I am still unsure of today. In either case she still blames me for the emotional rollercoaster. She refused to be with me and the children. She froze me out. Example: When I would come home from work she would leave and go for a run for hours. Later on down the line she told me that was my time with the kids. She refused all communication unless it was about how horrible I was during her pregnancy. No other issues mattered or could be spoken of. This had gone on for 5 years. During the 5 years, that pretty much was all we spoke when she did actually speak. I suppose at brief periods of times she seemed normal and we could have some interactions however 90% of the time it was utter silent treatment in extreme. If I were in the room say with the kids, she would walk in give a nasty look or make a disgusted noise and leave the room. If I tried to speak with her, she would not respond or if she did it would be talking over top of me while she left the room. It destroyed the relationship between the kids and I because I couldn't handle the effects from her. If the kids were not around it would just be the silent treatment. Dont get me wrong, when we were able to have our "conversations" (her talking about her pregnancy) it was a cluster of emotions of extremism. Is this type of behavior BPD or something else?

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[wendydarling]

Hi Mr Mom of 4 

Welcome to bpdfamily, I'm sorry this welcome is late.

You've been through a such a lot, frozen out, extreme silent treatment, it's destroyed your relationship with your kids, is a tough place to be.

I'm glad you have reached out for support to work this through, to understand what's driving your wife's behaviour and most importantly how you can help yourself for positive change, it can get better.  Did the twins come first, last, you have four children?

A qualified therapist (BPD/Narcissist experience) can help you understand the dynamics and behaviours, they'll go short of a diagnosis as they have not met your wife in a professional setting, they'll point you in the direction from the info you provide and help you personally move forwards. Does that sound like a good way forwards to you?

  the tools and lessons to the right work, they may feel counter intuitive, you can practice on your children, colleagues - they work with everyone, we often do re-do they take time to get right, where we feel confident is the place we want to be.

Do you have a family member or friend you can talk to?

We are here for you as you move forwards with members 

WDx