I feel like our other children are robbed of our time because she takes so much

[Anchor_Mom]

I have a 22 year old daughter with BPD.  We just found out about 3 weeks ago that she had been diagnosed at 18 with BPD, but didn’t remember this.  She and I both discovered some information about BPD at the same time and took that information to her psychiatrist only to find out that he had diagnosed it 4 years ago already.

Her Dad and I have been married for 24 years and have held together through all of this along with blending a family for both of us.  Between us we have 5 children and we lost one of my husband’s sons in 2008.

I feel like our other children are robbed of our time because she takes so much.

I feel relief that we’re no longer ALONE in this and that there is a name for it, yet it’s still a very isolating experience.

Looking forward to connecting with everyone!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Merlot]

Hi Ancho_mum

  from the bpdfamily.

I'm glad you found us here.  It really sounds like you and your husband have been through some challenging times together, but wow what a team you must be 
I'm glad that you have support in each other. 

It is very difficult for the squeaky wheel to always get the oil.  Does your daughter still live with you?  If so that is difficult as it can be hard to carve out space for your other children.  It may be worth discussing with your husband how you can do this.

I too had my daughter diagnosed (she is now 27) three years ago (but I very neglectfully didn't think too much about it as she was in another state and her issues were't right under my nose at the time).  However, she has been with us the last year and we too have felt the strain of how much she took (and we allowed this to happen).  When we pulled back, she felt the rejection and we've felt her wrath and are now cut off from her.

Yes, absolute relief when you realise you are not alone.  There is a wealth of resources here on the board and parents provide invaluable insight through their own journeys.  We look forward to sharing more with you.

Merlot

[Feeling Better]

Hello Anchor_Mom

I would like to join Merlot in welcoming you here and echo the fact that there are lots of tools and resources here as well as help and support from fellow parents.

Since your daughters diagnosis have you managed to find out anything about BPD?

What support are you currently receiving?