NPD Getting supply from and creating a codependent

[Thea]

I am freaking out. Being new to this whole thing I'm going through a very abrasive process of realization and it's ripping me apart. The guilt! Wow! I see so much now. She is using one of the children as her"idolize me" supply and he is becoming codependent. This waking up feels like I'm walking through a fire. I have no one to talk to.  I feel like this child's attachment is so strong it's going to cause serious emotional damage no matter what happens- if I end this relationship- which wont happen without serious fighting and HELL! This little boy is going to hate me to the core. He already is abusive toward me if I am seen as an opponent in any way. He has even thrown things at me and so forth. I should mention he is the sweetest most darling child ever. I'm falling apart. WHAT AM I DOING?  I feel so sick inside. Its never going to end I am so afraid of hurting my children or losing them - I need help I need clarity. I am in a sort of emotional vertigo. I cant deal with this. Today I looked for a therapist that has experience dealing with NPD and exit plans. I need help. I need money. I need a lawyer. I need a job. I need protection. I need relief.

[Speck]

Hello again, Thea:

I need protection.

From what do you need protection? What is going on inside the house that makes you say this?


-Speck

[Thea]

I cant get my head clear. There isnt anything physical. I just feel like everything is shifting. I feel like im in a rabbit hole. I feel disoriented. I need help to get out i need sn exit plan. I dont have the money for therapy .

Hello again, Thea:

From what do you need protection? What is going on inside the house that makes you say this?


-Speck

[Speck]

Hello again, Thea:

There isnt anything physical.

Okay. That's good to know.

i need an exit plan.

I hear you and believe you. Where would you rank yourself on the Five Stages of Detachment? See the sidebar to the right 

If you are wanting to exit your relationship, what steps are you taking right now to ensure that outcome?


Keep writing, keep processing, keep learning... .


-Speck

[Thea]

If I knew my children would be safe and with me this would be over by now. We share legal custody of two of the three. The third one came and the second one was diagnosed with cancer so we never got legal custody. The children don’t know anything about the bio parents. I know this whole thing is going to unravel all of our lives and I know there’s no way around it. I have no funds. No family with funds either. I need a lawyer I need help I do not want to lose these children or cause them any more stress than I have to. My situation is so complicated and I really feel trapped. I can’t just leave and I refuse to leave without them. To me, they are MY KIDS! I love them they’re my beautiful precious children God help me I don’t know how to get out. 6 m ago I told her to leave. She went from being somewhat overt to being strategically covert. I am sick in every way I cannot tolerate it. I feel dizzy with stress and overwhelm.

 

Hello again, Thea:

Okay. That's good to know.

I hear you and believe you. Where would you rank yourself on the Five Stages of Detachment? See the sidebar to the right 

If you are wanting to exit your relationship, what steps are you taking right now to ensure that outcome?


Keep writing, keep processing, keep learning... .


-Speck

[Thea]

I’m trying to get counseling online but it’s going to cost money

[Speck]

I’m trying to get counseling online but it’s going to cost money

Do you live near a university or church? You may find free counseling sessions by checking into programs offered by your Department of Public Health, your church, or university. If not FREE, then offered on a sliding scale.

It appears that you are having a tough time problem solving right now. A face-to-face counselor may help.


-Speck