Confused about this person's behaviour

[clvrnn]

So my current situation is that I met someone at university. We had been spending time together a lot, in which she was very flirty, making jokes about marriage, etc. We literally spent three days in a row together - doing things like studying, going for food, etc. We were also messaging a lot. Like the typical beginnings of an abusive relationship, it felt amazing, like this was my soulmate, etc.

Our conversations and dynamic were very much like we were already together. She'd ask me who was messaging me on my phone, and 'pretend' to be jealous, etc. Asking me to marry her, stuff like that.

Suddenly, she has told me that her feelings are too intense and she doesn't want to continue hanging out. She had been acting distant and I'd asked her what was wrong, and she proceeded to tell me all of this.

The way in which she told me was such that I couldn't really say much back - she was very adamant that this was where she stood and that this is how things were now going to be, that we would only be friends. I didn't get a chance to interject or to say anything, and it was almost as if she was shouting/talking down to me. After she she told me this, we carried on spending the day together and didn't get home until later.

When I got home, she began messaging me, and this was the most I've ever been messaged by her. It went on until almost 1am, and during this messaging she was still making jokes about marriage. Still being flirty. I was confused as she'd just said she needed to back off. She was being overly friendly and talking to me about everything.

The next day the messaging from her continued. I felt that perhaps it was OK to be honest about how I felt - I said that I'd enjoyed spending time with her, that it would be nice to keep hanging out as I feel a great connection and that I understand she's worried about getting attached to someone but that we can take things slowly.

She replied with a very long message detailing things about my personal appearance that were a 'turn-off' for her and how I am not her 'usual type', more about the fact that she's already said she doesn't want to be involved with someone and that she is unsure why I'm bringing this up again, and that she will not be discussing this again. This was actually the first time I'd bought it up - but anyway.

She then called me to talk about this, and started shouting - "it feels like we're in a relationship already! I feel like I'm talking to my ex!" Again, I didn't quite know why she was getting so stressed out and also, she called ME, I didn't call her.

I was surprised at her almost hostile reply as I'd been quite calm and wasn't being forceful or aggressive, I was just telling her how I felt. She said she refuses to discuss this again and "are we friends or not?" - I said yeah, friends.

Since this conversation, I've tried a couple of times to talk to her and she replies for a bit but then just goes quiet. It's now completely ground to a halt and she's being cold and blunt if I message her. Nothing's happened or changed, she's just changed how she replies to me.

The thing that made me wonder whether this person may be some sort of PD and similar to my ex is that I just messaged her asking her what she was up to and she just replied "trying to do some work". I didn't reply. She has been completely flat with me and seems to have no interest at all in talking to me - despite the fact that mere days ago she was messaging me non stop and joking around.

I am confused as to the rapid switch from joking about marriage to being quite blunt and rude with me, when I haven't actually done or said anything offensive or wrong, and it feels very much like a conversation with my ex who was highly abusive.

She has also criticised my clothing and suggested that I wear a different type of clothes altogether - even though I am probably quite 'trendy' and am wearing quite fashionable things. I make a lot of effort in the way I look, but she kept repeating the fact that I should wear different shoes, different trousers, etc. I just felt very stupid when she was doing that as I'm not someone who doesn't know how to dress for my shape, etc. In fact, I USED to be, but I've come a long way, lost weight, etc.

Another thing that makes me question it is the urge I feel to try and get her approval, to try and make things 'nice' again, and despite this treatment from her, the fact that I don't seem to be dissuaded by her.

What also makes me question this person is the extremity of the feelings I felt when around her and the fact that she'd said she had been in a toxic relationship prior to meeting me.

I realise she may not be abusive, but the behaviour is really confusing. Could anyone offer any insight into this? Also, how best to handle the seeing her around at university, etc? She's made a point of saying that she thinks its stupid and immature to avoid each other but I don't really feel like carrying on as normal, and this situation has actually been quite difficult for me.

[Cire155]

I think she gave you a warning already. It's clear as day. She doesn't want to get close to you as most persons with BPD like to do. She will always be flirty with you and anyone else who she crave attention for. It seems like she is trying to convince herself not to like you when she mentions your "shortcomings". Her needing attention and pushing you away with insults is the game they play. The I can't stand you / Don't leave me.  My ex used to say I was so annoying to her but yet she stuck around and wanted to see me. The behavior will always be confusing because it is not logical. That my friend is a red flag. The mention of a previous toxic relationship is another red flag. Especially if she plays the victim to some sort of abuse or blame game on why it ended. You trying to seek her approval may come from your childhood on seeking approval from your parent(s). Low self esteem or having codependent traits is a playground for a person with BPD. I found out that was my problem after dealing with a girl just like the one you are describing. I know deep down you feel something is not right and you can't put your finger on it. TRUST THAT FEELING. There is something wrong. The constant being on eggshells is making you become off balanced and that is when those people like her will push you off and watch you fall to your demise. The up and downs are rollercoaster like. Just by your words, you seem to be prey for her. I would stay away from her if I were you especially if you don't know why you need to seek her approval. You will end up with someone crushing your boundaries and trampling all over you mentally. It's not worth it.

[clvrnn]

I think she gave you a warning already. It's clear as day. She doesn't want to get close to you as most persons with BPD like to do. She will always be flirty with you and anyone else who she crave attention for. It seems like she is trying to convince herself not to like you when she mentions your "shortcomings". Her needing attention and pushing you away with insults is the game they play. The I can't stand you / Don't leave me.  My ex used to say I was so annoying to her but yet she stuck around and wanted to see me. The behavior will always be confusing because it is not logical. That my friend is a red flag. The mention of a previous toxic relationship is another red flag. Especially if she plays the victim to some sort of abuse or blame game on why it ended. You trying to seek her approval may come from your childhood on seeking approval from your parent(s). Low self esteem or having codependent traits is a playground for a person with BPD. I found out that was my problem after dealing with a girl just like the one you are describing. I know deep down you feel something is not right and you can't put your finger on it. TRUST THAT FEELING. There is something wrong. The constant being on eggshells is making you become off balanced and that is when those people like her will push you off and watch you fall to your demise. The up and downs are rollercoaster like. Just by your words, you seem to be prey for her. I would stay away from her if I were you especially if you don't know why you need to seek her approval. You will end up with someone crushing your boundaries and trampling all over you mentally. It's not worth it.

I already feel very trampled on, in a way. I spoke to her a couple of hours ago and she has pulled out of something we arranged together. I asked, is it to do with you and I and the situation we're in? She replied "there is no situation"... .OK, but there is a situation, though.

She said that the reason her last relationship didn't work out was because she ended up doing everything for him, that he wasn't mature enough, that he this and he that. I didn't hear her mention anything about herself.

When she mentioned my physical shortcomings, I remember feeling really upset - I didn't understand why she mentioned that and I also don't think it's true... .no one else has ever commented on that aspect of me, and I just think it wasn't needed. I didn't reply, and she then said "but I apologised in advance though" - she didn't apologise. She then said she was just being honest, that I'd been honest and I replied, "yes, but I didn't criticise your personal appearance, did I?"

I'm not sure why this situation has upset me to this extent. I really did like being around her, but now I recognise that it just wasn't healthy or good and that she is very similar to my ex in that she refuses, flat out refuses to even listen to me talking about anything to do with us 'hanging out' - just cuts me down at every turn.

One thing that I thought she liked was my humour, but now when I make a joke she doesn't even laugh or seem to be interested. I know this situation is really minor but I had been feeling so confused with this behaviour. It's disappointing that people have to be like this.

[Cire155]

I already feel very trampled on, in a way. I spoke to her a couple of hours ago and she has pulled out of something we arranged together. I asked, is it to do with you and I and the situation we're in? She replied "there is no situation"... .OK, but there is a situation, though.

She said that the reason her last relationship didn't work out was because she ended up doing everything for him, that he wasn't mature enough, that he this and he that. I didn't hear her mention anything about herself.

When she mentioned my physical shortcomings, I remember feeling really upset - I didn't understand why she mentioned that and I also don't think it's true... .no one else has ever commented on that aspect of me, and I just think it wasn't needed. I didn't reply, and she then said "but I apologised in advance though" - she didn't apologise. She then said she was just being honest, that I'd been honest and I replied, "yes, but I didn't criticise your personal appearance, did I?"

I'm not sure why this situation has upset me to this extent. I really did like being around her, but now I recognise that it just wasn't healthy or good and that she is very similar to my ex in that she refuses, flat out refuses to even listen to me talking about anything to do with us 'hanging out' - just cuts me down at every turn.

One thing that I thought she liked was my humour, but now when I make a joke she doesn't even laugh or seem to be interested. I know this situation is really minor but I had been feeling so confused with this behaviour. It's disappointing that people have to be like this.

I think you should find out why you are drawn to these types of women. It's super unhealthy. I had one interaction with a my ex and that was enough for me. She will just hurt you in the long run. Being just friends might even be a stretch because they don't have anyone around them that would give them advice or criticism. You would be just a flying monkey for her and giving her the attention she craves until she finds some new shiny toy. You are way better than that my friend

[clvrnn]

I think you should find out why you are drawn to these types of women. It's super unhealthy. I had one interaction with a my ex and that was enough for me. She will just hurt you in the long run. Being just friends might even be a stretch because they don't have anyone around them that would give them advice or criticism. You would be just a flying monkey for her and giving her the attention she craves until she finds some new shiny toy. You are way better than that my friend

Oh, I know why. Abusive family members who did nothing but critique me and emotionally abuse me. Bullied at school. The list goes on.

I feel that while I'm drawn to this woman I feel at least glad that I was able to stop and realise and think about her behaviour - although I was close to pursuing her further, I realise now that even if she isn't BPD/NPD, what she's doing is still really unhealthy for me.

She presented as 'normal' - she was always quite quiet in class, not really extroverted... .obviously now I know what she can be like, I don't think I want to pursue anything. I already feel highly anxious and this is going to have to be a test of my own self-control, to stay away from her.

I wouldn't really want to be friends. Her replies and moods are weird. One moment she will be blowing up my phone, the next she'll be talking to me as if I'm getting in the way. She has started doing this in person, too.

I just feel disappointed in part because I seem to attract these people inadvertently. I wasn't looking for anyone and I thought she may have been someone to spend time with, but it appears not. I'm going to really struggle with seeing her around, too. I wish I had never spoken to her.

[Shawnlam]

Brother I read your story three times do yourself a favor and cut all contact and run.She is red flagging you all over the place and her mind games are meant to lower your guard and test you.I she sees weakness she already knows she has control.If you really want to find out is she has BPD? Then the next time she texts you ignore her.Then if she texts you back asking you why your not answering tell her you were out on a date and didn’t check your phone.If you get her interest on you all of a sudden intensively,boom you have your answer.When they lose control the pull you in,when the have control the push you out... .crazy stuff

[clvrnn]

Brother I read your story three times do yourself a favor and cut all contact and run.She is red flagging you all over the place and her mind games are meant to lower your guard and test you.I she sees weakness she already knows she has control.If you really want to find out is she has BPD? Then the next time she texts you ignore her.Then if she texts you back asking you why your not answering tell her you were out on a date and didn’t check your phone.If you get her interest on you all of a sudden intensively,boom you have your answer.When they lose control the pull you in,when the have control the push you out... .crazy stuff

Hey man,

Yeah, I didn't reply to her last blunt message and I've deleted her number too. If she does message me I'll try that tactic but I hope she doesn't message me, tbh. It really is crazy stuff. She is playing mind games, yeah. Tonight was the first time she replied to me all blunt like that so I just left her on 'read' and deleted everything to do with her.

[Shawnlam]

You won’t regret it ,think about your sanity because she won’t garantied.They are vampires who will suck all the good out of you and walk away.I hate the fact I still love my ex gf and I mean I despise the fact I do ... .don’t let her do this to you .

[clvrnn]

I still feel quite upset at this whole thing. I genuinely thought that this was someone I was going to spend more time with, and it's turned out to be just another person that doesn't really want to. I feel SO paranoid now, I feel really ugly and low. I feel as if no matter what I try, I'm not going to find anyone decent. Every time I try to build new connections they just fall flat; I"m starting to wonder what's wrong with my personality that these people seem to make a straight beeline for me.

I've had therapy, I've stayed away from dating, I've cut off toxic friends and exes, I'm trying everything but it doesn't seem to be working.

I really still like this person and I don't know why; she has made it clear what she thinks about me. I found pictures of myself and her at the event we went to online, and while I don't look exactly as I'd like to, I certainly don't look bad and I look a lot better than I used to. I used to be horrified at my own appearance, but it wasn't even that bad. But yet I still feel deeply unattractive now because of what she said. I'm tempted to ask her to hang out again, but why? I wish I didn't keep liking people who don't like me the same way. It's becoming very upsetting.

Since I ignored her last message two days ago, she hasn't bothered to contact me. I don't even have anyone in real life to talk to about this stuff; I feel really frustrated and alone with this.

[Cromwell]

hi clvrnn.

if you are already quite isolated than you might be naturally feeling more needy to have a friend and in that process be less discriminating or alert than you might otherwise.

my ex had thousands of FB 'friends' and knew people everywhere.

she was highly attractive and had a captivating personality.

I had other even more attractive women that were really interested in me, but in contrast to her, they treated me respectfully, had no mental.

mines would put me down, make me question my appearance. but she didnt do it too much, because I was a confident person with many friends and she knew that I could have better than her.

but for some - still fully unknown to me reason - despite her nasty demeaning streak I felt some sort of closeness to her that other nice people didnt quite give me the same. and i think it is partly because i saw her as someone I wanted to help get better. I saw her nastiness as not the real side of her, but a disguise for someone who themselves felt very low about themselves to feel the need to do that. she herself was bullied and it was the classic case of the bullied becoming the bully.

all I can say is to not take a word of what she says to you personally, you are an amazing person, dont let anyone put you down.

I agree with the other person here, it sounds like you are being tested.

people with BPD like the chase, not the capture. once they have you they arent interested anymore.

she is projecting her own insecurities on to you. I found it a bit odd when I would go to see her id get a text saying "i dont know what I should wear".

to which I replied "whatever you want"

looking back, when you are telling someone who has an unstable self image and only even decides to wear something to adopt a persona tailor made especially for you, it must have been so difficult for her to comprehend whatever she wants. i ended up (unwittingly) confusing her so much that most of the time she started to wear some of my clothes.

quite strange behaviour from someone who could a few hours later, "hate me"
I think you getting naturally close has already hit her engulfment fears.

you were respectful and gave a nice compliment. BPD cant handle compliments as much as they can criticism.

i hope this is already a heads up for what the future "friendship" will be, you cant ever do right to do wrong.

[clvrnn]

Cromwell  

Hi,


Well, I’ve recently had somewhat of a shift in my life. Last year a long term relationship came to an end, as well as a long term friendship. Both were abusive. Since then, I’ve mostly been trying to be as social as I can. There have been a few failed attempts at friendships and romance – it seems I can’t find the ‘right’ type of person. So yes, quite isolated, right now.

How long were you and your ex partner together? Why did she have so many FB friends – was she in a line of work that meant she had to be extra social? Or just one of those people with lots of friends on FB…? This person is a singer and has a few hundred followers, too.

I agree with the sentiment about feeling as if this isn’t the real them, so to speak. There is often an air of vulnerability. This one expressed a few times that she has anxiety and often can’t leave the house due to the paranoia about what others think of her, and once said “I don’t know why you like me, I’m not that nice!” The times I’ve complimented her via text she has literally ignored and just changed the subject.

It does sound like you had a rough time with your ex, always trying to work out what she was feeling/thinking, etc. How long have you been apart?

I think so. We’d only agreed to ‘hang out’ and see where things went, the next I was being subjected to a speech in the middle of a library where I was being told that she couldn’t continue because her feelings were too intense and it was making her panic. I thought we were only supposed to BE friends, anyway. The mad panic and speech seemed really dramatic and off, tbh.

I've left her alone now, anyway. I want to talk to her but the way it's making me feel isn't very nice and I don't want to get into any further drama with her, tbh.

[Cromwell]

Cromwell  

Hi,


Well, I’ve recently had somewhat of a shift in my life. Last year a long term relationship came to an end, as well as a long term friendship. Both were abusive. Since then, I’ve mostly been trying to be as social as I can. There have been a few failed attempts at friendships and romance – it seems I can’t find the ‘right’ type of person. So yes, quite isolated, right now.

How long were you and your ex partner together? Why did she have so many FB friends – was she in a line of work that meant she had to be extra social? Or just one of those people with lots of friends on FB…? This person is a singer and has a few hundred followers, too.

I agree with the sentiment about feeling as if this isn’t the real them, so to speak. There is often an air of vulnerability. This one expressed a few times that she has anxiety and often can’t leave the house due to the paranoia about what others think of her, and once said “I don’t know why you like me, I’m not that nice!” The times I’ve complimented her via text she has literally ignored and just changed the subject.

It does sound like you had a rough time with your ex, always trying to work out what she was feeling/thinking, etc. How long have you been apart?

I think so. We’d only agreed to ‘hang out’ and see where things went, the next I was being subjected to a speech in the middle of a library where I was being told that she couldn’t continue because her feelings were too intense and it was making her panic. I thought we were only supposed to BE friends, anyway. The mad panic and speech seemed really dramatic and off, tbh.

I've left her alone now, anyway. I want to talk to her but the way it's making me feel isn't very nice and I don't want to get into any further drama with her, tbh.

Hi clvrnn. 3 years of rollercoaster drama. she had thousands of "friends" because literally if she would be in a bar and see the name badge of the guy who served her a drink shed be on fb checking out his life, living through other people vicariously. if I became your friend and all we would do is play chess online, if she would see you on my fb friends list she would go through your whole fb, be paranoid as to what we would be talking about and add you aswell. then if she made progress with you she would start going through your friends, family and mine it as far as she can for new victims. now if you imagine she has done that through multiple exs, been promiscious since an early age, lived many years as a street urchin. hangs out in bars and clubs constantly, doesnt sleep but scours through social media and online dating on a constant hunt, its easy to see how she can accumulate that many clients friends.

the most incredible thing about it was that I was never allowed to contact anyone she knew. 

little did I know she had left such a trail of destruction that there were places in the city i had to avoid with her, for not wanting to run in with "all the bad people" who she had never did anything wrong to.

you can probably tell that despite at first feeling protective of this victim, it started to get to a point where eventually question marks started to come into my mind that something wasnt quite right. but of course by then i was deeply hooked in "love", and not willing to pay any attention to any of it.

glad you have steered clear of this one you talk about, sounds a real fruit.

[Cire155]

I still feel quite upset at this whole thing. I genuinely thought that this was someone I was going to spend more time with, and it's turned out to be just another person that doesn't really want to. I feel SO paranoid now, I feel really ugly and low. I feel as if no matter what I try, I'm not going to find anyone decent. Every time I try to build new connections they just fall flat; I"m starting to wonder what's wrong with my personality that these people seem to make a straight beeline for me.

I've had therapy, I've stayed away from dating, I've cut off toxic friends and exes, I'm trying everything but it doesn't seem to be working.

I really still like this person and I don't know why; she has made it clear what she thinks about me. I found pictures of myself and her at the event we went to online, and while I don't look exactly as I'd like to, I certainly don't look bad and I look a lot better than I used to. I used to be horrified at my own appearance, but it wasn't even that bad. But yet I still feel deeply unattractive now because of what she said. I'm tempted to ask her to hang out again, but why? I wish I didn't keep liking people who don't like me the same way. It's becoming very upsetting.

Since I ignored her last message two days ago, she hasn't bothered to contact me. I don't even have anyone in real life to talk to about this stuff; I feel really frustrated and alone with this.

If I were you I would try getting back to therapy. It seems like you have a lot of self esteem issues and I personally don't want you to go through anymore pain then you should have to with a person like that. She is damaged and will bring you down. I don't think you can mentally last with someone like that. Try reading books to help. " The Human Magnet Syndrome" By Ross Rosenberg is a good book. Feel free to PM me or people on here. I understand what you are going through. Stay away from her. Get yourself right bro. These people smell blood. When you are confident and I mean really confident and not a facade, you will be able to dodge these types of people with ease. We are here for you bro.

[Cromwell]

Hi clvrnn. 3 years of rollercoaster drama. she had thousands of "friends" because literally if she would be in a bar and see the name badge of the guy who served her a drink shed be on fb checking out his life, living through other people vicariously. if I became your friend and all we would do is play chess online, if she would see you on my fb friends list she would go through your whole fb, be paranoid as to what we would be talking about and add you aswell. then if she made progress with you she would start going through your friends, family and mine it as far as she can for new victims.

thats how she harvested so many 'friends'

the most incredible thing about it was that I was never allowed to contact anyone she knew. 

little did I know she had left such a trail of destruction that there were places in the city i had to avoid with her, for not wanting to run in with "all the bad people" who she had never did anything wrong to.

you can probably tell that despite at first feeling protective of this victim, it started to get to a point where eventually question marks started to come into my mind that something wasnt quite right. but of course by then i was deeply hooked in "love", and not willing to pay any attention to any of it.

glad you have steered clear of this one you talk about, sounds a real fruit.

[clvrnn]

If I were you I would try getting back to therapy. It seems like you have a lot of self esteem issues and I personally don't want you to go through anymore pain then you should have to with a person like that. She is damaged and will bring you down. I don't think you can mentally last with someone like that. Try reading books to help. " The Human Magnet Syndrome" By Ross Rosenberg is a good book. Feel free to PM me or people on here. I understand what you are going through. Stay away from her. Get yourself right bro. These people smell blood. When you are confident and I mean really confident and not a facade, you will be able to dodge these types of people with ease. We are here for you bro.

I'm still in therapy so that's a good thing.

I think I do just struggle with my confidence and my self-esteem, yeah. Thank you so much for the book recommendation, I'll definitely check it out. The more knowledge the better. You're right, I can't cope with her  - I've started having dreams about her which is so annoying, I feel like I've gone a bit crazy, .

[clvrnn]

Well, I know it was probably a bad move, but I messaged her asking how she was getting on with her essays; no answer. That was two days ago.

Can't help feeling like I've done something wrong, somewhere along the line.

[Cromwell]

Well, I know it was probably a bad move, but I messaged her asking how she was getting on with her essays; no answer. That was two days ago.

Can't help feeling like I've done something wrong, somewhere along the line.

Or at least, thats the way her cold shoulder would be designed to make someone feel? regardless of there being any factual basis.

[clvrnn]

She has unfollowed a significant amount of people on Instagram, including a person from our class. If it is the case that I am being ignored, why hasn't she unfollowed me? Surely that would make sense. I feel as if I'm almost obsessed with this situation. I tried posting on another forum seeking advice, and I was just told that I probably 'creeped' her out with my overly emotional behaviour. I don't recall acting overly emotional, and if she IS or has BPD tendencies (I'm not trying to diagnose, but understand the behaviour as it's affected me) then surely anything I do will 'creep' her out?

It wasn't me that was joking about marriage or even me who revealed in the first place that I had any attraction for her. I'm dreading going back to university and seeing her.

[Shawnlam]

Honestly it’s hard to tell from your complete story that she has BPD but it sure seems like it.With that said it is is the case then you need to understand the following points 1: stop approaching any of this with logic or common sense they lack both and I’m not even joking in the slightest 2: is she has BPD then this isn’t about you only her and she couldn’t care a less about you in any fashion. 3: trying  to contact her and I do understand why your are(trust me I did it this weekend),you need to stop trying.These people have no need for closure,explication,or feelings of saying goodbye it’s beyond their comprehension.Look  I was friends with my exGF for 5 years ,and intimate for 6 months.There was talk of marriage she wanted me to ask her, I got her pregnant and she would have kept it I’m sure if I wanted ,etc etc.Fast forward to two weeks ago when I left her and she wouldn’t even see me to say goodbye no hug/kiss just nothing.Best I got was a text Sunday morning (yesterday) saying we should have stayed no contact but she understands and told me I didn’t need to explain everything is fine ,and to take care of myself alright xo.So don’t feel bad she isn’t answering you,she has moved on just like mine.They DO NOT CARE except for themselves in a way.Honestly they even have  trouble doing that because of their reckless self destructive behaviors

[clvrnn]

It's been a strange past few days.

I went back to university (after still having had no reply from her) and I bumped into her friend - the friend and I went to sit together in the library, and then... .she herself arrived. She awkwardly said "hello, how are you?" to me, but that was all she said to me. All day.

I had to message my friend to come and 'rescue' me as I felt so awkward and just wanted to get out of there. So, during our lecture I sat with my friends, and this girl sat behind me a few rows. I tried my best to act 'normal' but I felt so awkward all day. We also inadvertently kept bumping into each other with our groups of friends, but she didn't speak to me at ALL. She didn't even look at me. I didn't feel that I should approach her, as I'd already tried to message her and there was no reply. I felt a strange mixture of sadness, annoyance... .I just feel like the whole thing was strange and not needed.

She eventually went back to the library with her friend and I was glad, at that point. When I got home, I sent her a message - "Hey, is everything OK?" - there was and still is no answer.

I have since deleted her number and unfollowed her on every form of social media. I've also found out that she has blocked me from seeing certain features of her profile (I have no idea why, there was never any issue or mention made of social media and she was still following me)

The silence from her end has left me feeling confused, uncertain, hurt (as if I'm not even worth an explanation or conversation) and, most of all, I'm just disappointed. I really did enjoy her company and I   had hoped for us to become even just friends, if nothing else.

I have no idea if I have done something wrong, if she just feels too strongly and can't speak to me, I have no idea of anything. I don't understand any of this and I feel as if I'm not even entitled to feel anything, but I do.

[Cromwell]

Sounds like your in the FOG, by being the recipient of confusing messages. All the better to keep you imbalanced and manipulate you with - if that is her but  - and it is what I believe it is.

Just watch out for the possibility of her wanting to make others feel that you are in some way harassing or stalking you, this can be achieved by very slyly throwing a small amount of "crumbs" that give you the impression she wants to have contact, but not enough so that other people see it for that. Then as you get naturally frustrated by these mixed messages and try to confront her, she can (surreptitiously) appear to others that she is being pursued by you, or at the least, enjoy all the attention by playing mind games.

Im just putting this to you as a possibility. What id really like to emphasise is to think about how she is making you feel beyond the "not understanding", you say you feel hurt, sadness, annoyance. Is this at a level yet where it comes a point to draw a line under this friendship and consider that a "friend" shouldnt be someone who makes you feel this way? Or that a friendship is something to be earned over time and what has happened so far should give rise to highly questioning if it would constitute a friendship at all? I know that from what you describe, these are the sort of thoughts that would be at the forefront of my mind.