Hi Faith Spring
I'm so sorry for your husband's diagnosis as even though he will be fine, it is no doubt very confronting, particularly with what is going on with your daughter.
You sound so fed up, it feels like a crazy irony with BPD, those who are connected, semi-connected and those with no contact, we are all in relative state of despair.
Feels like that's the sign on my back. Kick me. I'm a doormat. I'm your mom. I'll never stop loving you. So kick me. I'm down.
While I miss my daughter and granddaughter so much, I don't miss all the drama, the rages and the constant criticism and judgement of me and my husband and the taking - oh the taking, don't get me started - it's all just such a double edged sword.
She's a shell of the human being I knew.
I can totally relate, I find it very difficult to reconcile how I raised her and the adult that she has become - it doesn't make any sense at all - I find it hard to recognise my values in her.
I hope you can step away just for a little while to focus on you and your husband, you both deserve that much.
Thinking of you
Merlot