Introduction from Mrs. Hyde

[hydeswife]

Hello folks,
My husband suffers from severe BPD and I'm calling myself "Mrs. Hyde" because I feel like I'm married to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

In the past 6 years or so he has been hospitalized over 40 times, and lost 5 jobs. I've read a lot about BPD, and rather than feeling hopeful I fear that he is the worst of the worst- part of the percentage that will not get better.

His condition is co-occurring with extreme alcohol abuse, so that has caused chaos, ruining many occasions, leading to a couple of arrests, and so much pain and suffering.

I feel trapped in this relationship that is 90-10 rather than 50-50. I'm the main breadwinner and feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I could leave my husband, but not only do I consider him my "family" (we do not have children), but I do not want to lose my home, pets, life savings- everything I've worked so hard for in life.

Anyway, it would be nice to have others to reach out to- people who understand and might be in a similar position. This is all a secret from most people, and those close to me do not fully understand it in depth. Thank you in advance.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[livednlearned]

Hi Mrs. Hyde,

Welcome and hello 

BPD is a tough way to go through life, and it's not uncommon to use alcohol and other substances to self-soothe. Unfortunately, the solution is a problem all its own.

40 times in the hospital is a lot to go through. Is there a pattern to these hospitalizations? Meaning, is he drug seeking, or suicidal? Or does he end up there after drinking to excess?

How do you take care of yourself when he's in a dysregulation or drinking? To try and keep it from friends and family must be taking a big toll. Glad you reached out for support with people who understand what it's like.

 

LnL

[pearlsw]

Hello hydeswife,

Oh my! It does indeed sound like he's on the extreme end of things with 40 hospitalizations. You deserve a medal for surviving that!

Are you sure you can't tell anyone around you what is going on? Any part of it?

We're here. We get it. You do have us! Keep posting your own threads, sharing your ups and downs with us, and posting on other's threads to show support and get to know others who will in turn give you in support.

with deep compassion, pearl.