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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
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Author Topic: Stockholm Syndrome  (Read 514 times)
Always Wrong
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1


« on: September 14, 2018, 12:31:04 PM »

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Glad to find this site, I think our son is a victim of Stockholm Syndrome. He is a Dr. and has been married to his wife for
12 years and has three small daughters that are preschool age. Our situation and relationship with his family has gotten worse, the past two years. Its to the point where its tough to sleep and wonder whats going to happen. He is our only child, and now his wife wants nothing to do with us, and doesn't want him communicating with us. She has in the past ran from one room to the next room with my son and I because she wants to know what is being said, she has even had him record our conversations when he and I have talked and made him reported back to her with the recording, she has to be in full control of all situations. She will say to our son, "What are looking at your dad for?", "You look at me when I'm talking to you!". She has never been able keep a job for these reasons. Our son would say to me, "Dad she can't work because its hard for her to take orders from anyone."

Last week, he visited us with the granddaughters at our lake house, when she found out she must have really taken out on him. I talked to him a couple of days ago, and he wasn't himself at all. He said, "he has no control and feels that we don't support him or his wife in their decisions and he is caught in between. My wife and I told him that we love him and will always love him, its just that we cannot be sit by and watch whats going on. My wife has suggested that all of us together see a family councilor, and she refuses to do that or meet with us. They even used to attend church on Sundays, but now they don't. I ask why and he said "They have other beliefs and reasons."
Its a sad situation and one that I never could have dreamed, he used to be a very competitive person usually finishing at the top and now he admits to us that he is a very passive person and wants nothing to do competition of any kind. He even has started working four 8 hr. days at the hospital so he can spend more time at home, so we know this is effecting his work as well.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
bluek9
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 257


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« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2018, 01:09:00 PM »

 Welcome new member (click to insert in post) WELCOME Always Wrong,

        I'm glad you found this place. Is BPD what brings you here? Are you feeling that the wife has BPD? It definitely sounds like she is total controller of everything. 12 years is a long time to beat down by someone like this. It's really no surprise that your son has changed.
      What are you doing for yourself in regards to the situation? It has to be so very painful to see and hear all the chaos he is going through. I'm hoping you will feel comfortable enough to share more of your story. 
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   H:healing, O:options, PE:positive encouragement
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
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« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2018, 07:44:01 PM »

Hello Always Wrong

I would like to join bluek9 in welcoming you here and say that I understand your concerns regarding your son and his family.

You say that your situation and relationship with his family has deteriorated over the last couple of years to the point whereby his wife wants nothing to do with you and doesn’t want him communicating with you either. That must be extremely hard for you to deal with. Was there anything specific that you are aware of which led up to this point?

In what way does your son feel that he’s not being supported, has he clarified this?

As you say, it is a sad situation and it’s true, one that you could never have dreamed would happen. Your son is extremely lucky to have your love and support, you are like most parents, just wanting the best for your child no matter how old he is 
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