This is all new to me

[Pinacoloda1]

I'm still learning the illness my grown daughter
has,how to respond(or not) to her outbursts and
out of the blue mood swings.  I have learned to
take everything she says with a grain of salt,
not to take it personally,its the illness talking.
On the other hand,i do wanna learn to set boundaries.  So can you help me with this,
maybe give me some examples...
Thankyou

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Fleming]

My issue exactly - how to set boundaries. 
I used to work someplace where they intermittently provided actors to simulate difficult clients in a work-group setting. You did your best, then a facilitator and the rest of the group provided constructive feedback.   It was extremely useful. 
I wish that there was some way to "practice" boundary setting, validation, etc. in a simulated setting. I had heard that there was a group doing this (family members of BPD training other family members of BPD) but they seem to have disbanded. 

[wendydarling]

Hi Pinacolato  

Good to hear back from you  such a pertinent question you ask! Many members on the forums ask how to 'set boundaries'?

What do those two words mean?  Setting boundaries ...

Here are two lessons, boundaries and values and boundaries examples
1.07 | Boundaries and Values
1.08 | Boundaries - examples

Having read the lesson and examples, what are your thoughts, can you share an example relevant to your situation?
Your Value
Your Boundary
Your Action

I think it helpful we share which tools lessons   shout out, initially speak to us, those we find most intuitive, helpful to our situation. When I joined empathy and validation jumped out of the screen! To step into my daughters shoes, validate her feelings, her pain, listen, listen, communicate. That was our meeting point. Very powerful, it's what she needed when she was in crisis.

Now, 3 years on, she is working towards identifying her core/independent/interdependent values, what we are talking, exploring here, thank you Pinacolato for raising this conversation, it means a lot to me right now.

WDx

[DremNCWgrl]

Pinacolada,
Yes! I have often wished for the same thing! A practice group for boundaries and for validation. I've read so much on the topics but don't feel like I'm making the grade.  I wonder if starting a thread here with examples and suggestions would be appropriate for that?

[Feeling Better]

Hi Pinacoloda1, how are you doing?

wendydarling gave you a couple of good links there, I’ve just read them myself. What do you think, have you had chance to take a look at them?

We can try and work through setting a boundary if you like.

Can you name a value of yours that you want to protect?

Same goes for you DremNCWgrl if you would like to join in, let’s see what we can do here x