partner with BPD and also has chronic anxiety

[Mbhelp]

This is my second post. My bf has both BPD and chronic anxiety.  He is also an alcoholic.  He uses alcohol to get him through and to calm him down.  He doesn't believe counciling will help.  I know he won't go.  He'd never use the techniques to help himself and I know now he'll never stop drinking.  He has tried but it never works. He can get very needy and then at times gets jealous of me because I find things that make me happy and he can't do that.  He had a job but due to his BPD and chronic anxiety he had to leave his job which has caused him extreme anger and depression. His job was his life until I came along.  He doesn't get along well with people once he gets to know them.  We sits home because he just doesn't want to go out of the house, but at the same time he tells me he's very lonely and it's hard being alone and it's caused him even more problems.  My life is terrible but I do the best I can. 

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[CryWolf]

Hey MB,

You have a lot on your plate! 

Your husband seems to be very anxious and afraid of counseling, giving up alcohol. I believe he is afraid of failing and the pressure is too much for him to handle, that he gives up entirely. The thought seems to be very stressful for him. A lot of people with anxiety turn to alcohol unfortunately to help with anxiety. It takes the edge off but its an unhealthy coping mechanism. Has he considered taking medication for anxiety?

May I ask what caused his anxiety to spike that it affected his work?

Your husband is aware of his problem and seems to be projecting a bit onto you. A part of him seems to feel guilty that his anxiety and BPD is affected his life and your life. He might be getting needy/jealous because he is afraid you might leave him because he cant give you happiness by going out and being social with people. He might be blaming himself in a sense. Just my opinion.

What are some hobbies and interests you have yourself?