Part 4: At the hospital now

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

When my uNPD/BPD stepgrandmother, along with my grandfather, ended up in the hospital at the same time (SGM had exhausted herself caring for GF, because she wouldn't spend any money on carrying help and insisted on doing everything herself), my mom and I went to their city to sort out what we could. The talks with their primary care doctor were interesting. He did not know that mom was a stepdaughter and had no say about her father's care over the wishes of his wife. Mom and I went through their cabinet and wrote down all medications that each were taking, the dosage, and the prescribing doctor. THAT was enlightening. SGM had bottles of valium from multiple doctors. There were 7-8 doctors prescribing. Their primary doctor was unaware.

And...SGM was furious that we disclosed prescriptions to the doctor. Mom had several quiet months of silent treatment after that.

[GaGrl]

When my uNPD/BPD stepgrandmother, along with my grandfather, ended up in the hospital at the same time (SGM had exhausted herself caring for GF, because she wouldn't spend any money on carrying help and insisted on doing everything herself), my mom and I went to their city to sort out what we could. The talks with their primary care doctor were interesting. He did not know that mom was a stepdaughter and had no say about her father's care over the wishes of his wife. Mom and I went through their cabinet and wrote down all medications that each were taking, the dosage, and the prescribing doctor. THAT was enlightening. SGM had bottles of valium from multiple doctors. There were 7-8 doctors prescribing. Their primary doctor was unaware.

And...SGM was furious that we disclosed prescriptions to the doctor. Mom had several quiet months of silent treatment after that.

[sweetheart]

sc give the medication you collected from the house to the clinician responsible for your wife's care.
It would be really helpful to the clinicians to accurately know the full extent of your wife's substance intake  when formulating her plan of care.

[empath]

My thought is that if she doesn't get something to interrupt her pattern, she will act out in even worse ways once she returns home.

She has crossed the Rubicon and she's angry with you for holding her accountable. This seems like a very dangerous situation.

This. I hope that the doctors can get her stabilized to a point that you are safe in your own home, but the reality is that you haven't been safe there for a long, long time. Now, she feels betrayed (and possibly abandoned) by you.

Sometimes, we get to a point that we can't help our spouses any more. I'm worried about how much you are going to be able to help once she gets out.

[Notwendy]

Adderall, ativan, ambien, and a beta blocker (used for anxiety, not blood pressure.) 

Yes, her health care team needs to know what she's been taking and also they likely don't want her mixing medications once she is home with new ones.

Are you in the US? Often medications are recorded on electronic medical records that her providers may be able to look up. Bring these to them so they know. Controlled substances are electronically tracked now I believe to prevent people from getting them from multiple providers at the same time. But you should inform them.

[AskingWhy]

SC, the medication issues need to be presented to your W's doctor.  Far too many patients have many doctors and specialists, and not all are apprised to the medications their patients take. 

This can have disastrous consequences. 

[Cat Familiar]

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