Not liking this...

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

First, I have nothing to hide. No romantic relationships, ok but very tight because I still don't have a full-time job and want to be very careful with my finances. Been working on settlement for five or so months, maybe near the end.

I'm 95% sure now that I'm being followed and surveilled. I've seen the same guy multiple times. When he's parked near the front of my house, he'll move to a nearby side street when I come home.

I'll tell my lawyer next time I talk to him. Honestly, I don't care if my husband paying for this as part of the divorce. He accused me of affairs multiple times over the years when he zero concern that way. I know that was likely projection. I hope the investigator enjoys watching me.

Just creepy though.

[MeandThee29]

First, I have nothing to hide. No romantic relationships, ok but very tight because I still don't have a full-time job and want to be very careful with my finances. Been working on settlement for five or so months, maybe near the end.

I'm 95% sure now that I'm being followed and surveilled. I've seen the same guy multiple times. When he's parked near the front of my house, he'll move to a nearby side street when I come home.

I'll tell my lawyer next time I talk to him. Honestly, I don't care if my husband paying for this as part of the divorce. He accused me of affairs multiple times over the years when he zero concern that way. I know that was likely projection. I hope the investigator enjoys watching me.

Just creepy though.

[GaGrl]

Wait til he's parked around the corner and take him a cup of coffee.

[MeandThee29]

Wait til he's parked around the corner and take him a cup of coffee.

I thought of that. LOL.

It made me happier though to think about the bills while they try to find something that isn't there.

Maybe he's watching someone else, but I doubt it.

[I Am Redeemed]

Have you seen him following you when you leave? Like going to the store or whatever?

That would make me feel a little creepy, too.

[MeandThee29]

Have you seen him following you when you leave? Like going to the store or whatever?

That would make me feel a little creepy, too.

Yes, twice he was behind me in my street and then made sure he wasn't directly behind me on the main road. Maybe he was leaving.

I saw him this morning when I came back, parked. Then he moved to where I couldn't see him from the house. That confirmed it for me.

My lawyer mentioned that sometimes this is done, but told me not to worry about it. He mentioned it at the beginning when he was giving me the do's and don't and said to "mind myself" in case something like is ordered. I've had friends's husbands and sons come to fix things for me, but they've always come with someone to help them. So nothing at all questionable.

[mart555]

Why don't you go visit the city's most expensive lawyers?  Sit in the lobby of their building for an hour or two then walk out?    Then maybe do a few banks? 

[toomanydogs]

Why don't you go visit the city's most expensive lawyers?  Sit in the lobby of their building for an hour or two then walk out?    Then maybe do a few banks? 

I like this suggestion.
I know a P.I. and when all my divorce stuff started, I'd asked if he could find out if my STBX was back on meth.
He told me it's very hard and very expensive to prove much of anything regarding drug use or infidelity because the P.I. has to catch the person in the act; otherwise, it's just innuendo.
Still, I think it's creepy.
I had someone try to break into my house during this divorce. That was mega creepy.
A jerk is what your STBX is.
 
TMD

[ForeverDad]

A professional such as a private investigator is able to do things that the parties involved can't do.  Your stbEx could be considered stalking if he or a friend followed you, but a professional is allowed to do that.  Besides being trained and bonded, professionals are to be emotionally distanced from the matters involved.

I recall when my then-spouse would claim people were behaving suspiciously before we separated.  Yeah, she saw stalkers and abductors almost anywhere.  I would always as for photos of the people, vehicles or license plate numbers.  Of course she never thought to get her own documentation.  I never had anyone trailing her nor camped out.  The idea of bringing the person coffee got me grinning, but in case you need the documentation later, is there someone who could accompany you as you log the license plate number?