New here. Thinking about leaving. Need support.

[MissingMom]

I’m not sure if I’m doing this right. It’s my first post. I’ve recently discovered that my boyfriend of 16 years quite possibly has Borderline Personality Disorder. He exhibits a LOT of the traits I’ve read about. I’m at the point where I think I need to leave the relationship but I have no idea where to start. Our lives are so intertwined after 16 years together. I keep telling myself it’s a blessing that we don’t have kids and aren’t married. I’m still feeling completely trapped.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

I’m so sorry and I get this. I felt the same way, trapped, in my first marriage.  Though it may seem counter to your thought of leaving, I’m going to move your post to the Bettering board.

Whether or not you stay in the relationship, there you will learn strategies to keep things calmer, which will certainly be helpful should you leave.

Best, Cat

[Harri]

Hi and welcome.   

What sort of behaviors does he exhibit where you think he may have BPD?  What made you think about BPD as a possibility?

Share more when you can.  We get it here and can help you regardless of what you decide about your relationship status.