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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Like Lucy holding the football and I am Charlie Brown… Seven months later  (Read 391 times)
Timberwolf

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Friend
Posts: 26


« on: January 24, 2020, 11:15:48 AM »

Seven months later I still feel tormented by this Situation.
It is like I have  cognitive dissonance with what has happened. Someone that I  loved with all my heart regards me as less than human now that my health is failing. She said my problems drag her down, and she found  other people to meet her needs. My character and  reputation and character have also been smeared  around town.  Given that I am somewhat isolated, And we sometimes have to coexist together this has been exceedingly difficult. I feel devastated please I need support to try to move forward
« Last Edit: January 24, 2020, 11:26:53 AM by Timberwolf » Logged
SinisterComplex
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken Up
Posts: 1275



« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2020, 12:41:58 PM »

I know it is hard to move on. Please keep in mind that moving on is hard regardless of someone having a disorder. I have to reiterate though that you must strive to learn outcome independence and seek internal validation. Do not allow anyone else to dictate your happiness. It is a process but you must be willing to do the work. This is your own process so I do not want you to take offense that I am discounting your feelings or where you are at in the process. That is most certainly not the case.

However, even though the road seems long and daunting you must be willing to put one foot in front of the other and make baby steps. If you stay stuck in this perpetual cycle you will not grow. You will not heal. You will not learn. All that will happen is that you will remain status quo and push away better opportunities. You must not be afraid of the unknown and accept that the story with this person from the past is concluded. Its hard, it sucks, but it is what it is. Accept it and choose YOU over this person. What I mean...start truly practicing self-love and self-respect.

Additionally, let your pride and ego kick in a bit here...she knows she can hurt you and she knows she has control over you. Are you telling me that is ok? Are you going to let this continue? I sure the hell hope not.

I sincerely wish you the best moving forward and I will continue to be around for support. However, to add a little humor here...to a pull a quote from the movie The Rock "Losers whine and cry about trying to do their best...Winners go home and F the prom Queen." - The point is...no more trying. Be like Nike and Just Do It!

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-
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