Newly diagnosed

[Abbiesmom]

My 17 year old daughter is newly diagnosed following a month long hospital stay. She will be starting a day treatment program this week. I have been reading everything I can but this is al so  is overwhelming.

I feel like I am emotionally a reck. I am angry that life has been come so difficult and my previously happy kind daughter has turned into someone I can’t recognize. I’m so sad that I am the one that she rages on. The things she’s says are horrifying.

How do you best deal as a caregiver thinking of the possible long term outlook? Is this going to get easier?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Harvester]

Hi Abbiesmom,

I’m in your same position.  So, I don’t feel qualified to give advice, but I want you to know you are not alone and you are at the right place.  I’ve already received good info and support here.   

[Harvester]

Hi Abbiesmom,

Just checking back in.  I’m searching for answers as well.  What books have you read?  This resource was given to me by another member here.  I’ve signed up.

“Have you done the NEABPD family connections teleconference Programme? I found that this to be very informative and a support environment, which also gave me a very valuable skill set.”

Harvester

[Harvester]

Keep asking for help!  Start a new thread! 

[wendydarling]

Hi Abbiesmom

I'd like to join Harvester welcoming you to the forum, I'm so sorry what brings you here, though very glad you found us for support, you are not alone   Here is a big hug from me 

You are not on your own arriving here angry, emotionally wrecked and totally confused, feeling helpless, sad and heartbroken. We do! Vent, get it out, share your story when you feel able, we are listening.

Our first step is to look after ourselves, you know the saying put your oxygen mask on first before saving others? While we do that we are helping our children too. Support is critical and Harvester gives great advice suggesting signing up to The Family Connections Programme, if you've not already. Many parents also engage in therapy with a BPD specialist to help navigate their unique and complex situation, as ours are.

Do you have support at home, family, friends to support you as your DD comes home?

Yes, yes, things do get better, slowly, easy does it!

Love to you and your young girl.

WDx 
I've written this PS, for another day.

The first resource here that opened up my world to my DD and her mental health struggles was Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, Shari Manning The second was radically accepting my DD (26yrs at diagnosis) was suffering. Radical acceptance released me from my pain and my DD too in time (as she's since learnt radical acceptance, it is a DBT skill, of many we've both learnt independently).
1.06 | Radical Acceptance for Family Members]. Both these helped me slow down, slow down, slow down, be gentle with myself and take a moment to breath, be mindful, stay in the moment, keep my balance. Live day by day.