Idealization/Honeymoon Phase

[blue6314]

How long does the honeymoon/idealization phase often last for a pwBPD? And after it ends, is intimacy typically affected?

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[hope2727]

It depends on the person. Each individual and circumstance is unique. There is no one size or symptom fits all. In general each cycle of idealization and devaluation is shorter than the last. In general intimacy is linked to love and value so if not valued impact on intimacy. But these are just generalizations. Once again evey individual is unique.

[Ltahoe]

Seems to depend. For me I’d say the honey moon lasted 18-24 month. But I truly believe I unknowingly had help. My wife worked with her exes new fiancé and had someone else to paint black.  And yes being painted black effects intimacy. During those periods you’ll literally feel like you’re around to support this adult child nothing more. For me I go through the cycle every time there’s a significant change. Example wife is out of work because of COVID so she’s not happy and she’s projected her problems on to the family. A lot of times it’s her own doing too she’ll be under stress at work and paint me black along with her job. Then her problem solving skills are not there so she pours fuel on the fire creating more work stress and more home stress. Then she gets fired and needs a hero. But I’m more of a villain these days than a hero. It does seem to be just getting worse and her splitting is becoming longe, more frequent  and more aggressive. Pretty sure we’re doomed just a ticking time bomb now before she gets so abusive I have no choice to leave or she actually does a discard.