BPD teen with gender dysphoria

[Parentbpdteen]

My adopted from birth child showed signs of uncontrollable rages from 18 months old. After 8 years of reading and trying everything I could get my hands on, he was finally diagnosed childhood onset bipolar at the age of 10 and put on lithium and Abilify, plus regular therapy. These reduced the rages, but he put on weight and his self esteem was hit hard. Five years ago he came out as gay. Two years ago he decided he is transgender. He turns 18 next month and wants to change his name legally to a girl's name. He has struggled with finishing high school. It has been very difficult to get him to school, especially during middle and high school. He tried online schooling and an at risk school. He is returning to his high school for his senior year, presenting as a girl, and is able to work toward a core 18 credit degree and hopefully graduate with his/her friends. This will make her eligible for a two year college should she decide to continue her education. She stopped all medication two years ago, but continues counseling intermittently. She is amazing in so many ways and has matured greatly this past year. Her rages have subsided. Now she deals more with sadness. She was in Marching band, in percussion, and tried colorguard for a while. She also was a cast member for Seussical the musical. She has a strong supportive group of friends and is a bit of an entrepreneur. I struggle with the truth about his/her belief to transgender since s/he has had self esteem issues all his/her life. It breaks my heart that s/he does not seem to love him/herself and is looking to change in order to hopefully find a way to self love. This has all been hard on my beautifully faith filled family. My husband and I are high school sweethearts who were late to parenting due to infertility. We have two other children, both boys, through IVF. I have my master's degree in education and currently take care of my 86 year old mother. I love my entire family with all my heart. I am trying to help my bpd child love him/herself.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[20yearsHRS]

Diagnosed BPD?  Once our daughter received a diagnosis for BPD, I dropped the pronouns and the nicknames she wanted us to use.  Because BPD has gender dysphoria as a symptom I did not feel right continuing to feed the monster.  Now my daughter has dropped the nickname with her friends and has stopped the whole gender deal for the most part.  She has gone back to dating boys etc.