relationship with a BP is a rollercoaster

[Jay763]

HI,

The irrational outbursts will not stop and I don't know what else to do. I'm blamed for everything minor that occurs at the extreme level.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Rev]

HI,

The irrational outbursts will not stop and I don't know what else to do. I'm blamed for everything minor that occurs at the extreme level.

Hi Jay - and welcome.

Sounds like you're in the middle of the same blender that many of us have been through or are currently going through.

Is there a question that you have - or maybe two or three? 

Or perhaps just letting your story out might be what you are looking for?  What brings you here - in general? Specifically?

You will find that there is great support here. Each of us has something in common. The very same ups and downs in our relationships and piecing ourselves back together.

Looking forward to hearing more.

Rev

[Jay763]

Hi Rev

Thanks. My question is, do BDP's think that their behavior is okay? They may be sorry after but are they really because the cycle repeats itself.
I've read that dialectical behavior therapy proves success however, one must want to know why they are overreacting negatively to everything under the sun. I

[Rev]

Hi Rev

Thanks. My question is, do BDP's think that their behavior is okay? They may be sorry after but are they really because the cycle repeats itself.
I've read that dialectical behavior therapy proves success however, one must want to know why they are overreacting negatively to everything under the sun. I

Like anyone- you can't generalize and be specific. It depends because its generally accepted that mood disorders are on a spectrum.  So that would impact the degree to which a person feels regret rather than remorse.

Bottom line - no one changes without looking themselves and claiming what it is about themselves that needs work.

Rev

[Jay763]

Inside job for sure, you are right. I guess it baffles me when a person knows there is a problem and they don't want to put in the work..

What is your experience with BPD?

[Rev]

Inside job for sure, you are right. I guess it baffles me when a person knows there is a problem and they don't want to put in the work..

What is your experience with BPD?

You mean, what's my personal story?

Or what's my professional experience?

And it baffles me too.  Always has. Always will.

Rev

[Jay763]

Your personal story with a Borderline...

[Rev]

Your personal story with a Borderline...

K - I'll get back to you on that when I've got the gas to tell it again.

But in a nutshell... it was abusive - so trigger alert.  You are on the bettering board. My story does not have a happy ending in the sense that the relationship got better. In fact, the harder I tried, the worse it got.

So I am saying this because personal stories all come with context.  My story is not your story and your story is not mine. There are threads that maybe you might be able to learn from in your own context. I just don't want to come across as saying - because it didn't work in my case, then in your case it won't work either.

Rev

[Jay763]

Understood. Thanks for sharing what you could, I get it. So, it sounds like once there is a pause or a breaking point; the person on the other side of the borderline is left trying to heal from the cycles of destruction. Now that I have had a chance at backing away,  the past cycles of my apologies and pacifying are much clearer and this helps me to reaffirm that it is not me. This website and the forums have helped me so much; I no longer feel alone in this and the support has been great.