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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.
Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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Just broke up after living together for two years
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Topic: Just broke up after living together for two years (Read 376 times)
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Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Living together
Posts: 1
Just broke up after living together for two years
«
on:
September 19, 2020, 05:49:51 PM »
Hi there,
I don't ever post on message boards but I am in a situation where I need help processing the weirdest relationship breakup. I've known that now ex boyfriend of one week had borderline personality disorder. The first time he broke up with me out of the blue was so crazy and irrational. He was so overly emotional,needy,desperate, and in pain. Of course that hooked me. I tried to get him to go to counselling to deal with his insecurity. He promised to so I decided to stay with him. That was the beginning of a never ending pattern. The next time he broke up with me was when I was so happy with him and believed our relationship was going really well. I bought him a ring and took him and his family on a trip for xmas. The day we returned from the trip he left me. I was devastated. He didn't even tell me why he left. He cried and apologized for being so bad and that he didn't know why he did it when he really loved me. Like a sucker I gave him another chance. For the last month he has not responded to any of my concerns. Then he just stopped talking and I don't know why. I finally said I didn't want to live with him anymore. He seemed relieved and happy while he packed some clothes and walk out of the saying he was going to stay at his exwifes house.
I know he is furious at me because he is rude and condescending in the few emails we have had about him picking up his stuff. I am so sick of him playing the victim. he was the one who ignored me and refused to talk to me about why he was angry. I was the one who felt hurt and even emotionally abused. I have asked him if we could talk now thinking that maybe with time he has calmed down and he hasn't replied.i just want to say that we gave the relationship our best and that it's good we are moving on as I truly know and believe that. I also want him to move all of his stuff soon so that I can start renovations that I have scheduled. But I have no idea how to deal with the practicalities of finalizing the breakup when he is again ignoring me. If I didn't need his stuff out of the house I would probably just do no contact for at least a month. But the Reno's are scheduled in a week. I know it's over. I m so exhausted. I feel stupid for believing I could help him and his children. I know I have to work on myself now and address my own saviour complex. What should I do now? I have packed all his stuff and I could put it in the outside shed but I am worried he will freak out. His anger scared me because I don't know where its coming from. But the reality is that he will probably not bother to pick up his stuff as it is his habit to procrastinate and not deal with anything emotional charged. What should I do?
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