He took s4

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I would not be concerned about them asking how your H was able to pick up S4 if they are also telling you he has legal rights to him until something is court ordered- that answers the question.

I would think that if he has been offered jail time or probation for the assault that a PO should not be hard to get at all, particularly if no contact is built into the probation requirements. That is actually a good thing because it's extra protection for you- it says that he is so dangerous to you that they want him to not contact you at all regardless of sharing a child together.

I would think that this is shaping up to get him supervised visitation with S4 eventually in a setting where you will not have to have contact at all.

Hang in there. I know this is frustrating but I really think it's going to come out in your favor.

[I Am Redeemed]

I would not be concerned about them asking how your H was able to pick up S4 if they are also telling you he has legal rights to him until something is court ordered- that answers the question.

I would think that if he has been offered jail time or probation for the assault that a PO should not be hard to get at all, particularly if no contact is built into the probation requirements. That is actually a good thing because it's extra protection for you- it says that he is so dangerous to you that they want him to not contact you at all regardless of sharing a child together.

I would think that this is shaping up to get him supervised visitation with S4 eventually in a setting where you will not have to have contact at all.

Hang in there. I know this is frustrating but I really think it's going to come out in your favor.

[Frankee]

I wanted to first start by saying.. They made him give S4 back.   

I am honestly shocked.  I really just wanted to have the protective order to keep him away from the places listed and to give S4 back.. but they brought down the hammer.  I don't think it has sunk in what really happened yet.

So which option did he take or was he given (30 days or 12 months)...was something "imposed" on him?  Does he have another hearing over this?

If I count right..there are three different legal issues going on..right? (assault prosecution, PO, divorce/support) Do you have lawyers and a timeline for all of them?

The 90 days in county jail or 12 months probation (out of jail, but have to complete classes, community service, etc.)  Correct about the three different legal issues.  The protective order was granted, the assault case he has until 12/18 to decide which offer he will take, and the divorce/support.. well, that hasn't even started yet.

I would think that this is shaping up to get him supervised visitation with S4 eventually in a setting where you will not have to have contact at all.

Hang in there. I know this is frustrating but I really think it's going to come out in your favor.

You are 100% correct.  They set supervised visits.  And the biggest part that blew me away.. 14 years protective order for myself and S4.. basically until S4 in an adult.

S4 is back home.  The judge told him to return S4 to me by 12pm the following day (Fridday) or he would had a warrant issued for his arrest.  H did return S4, and all of his belongings.  When I was going through S4 things, H stashed away all the letters I had written to him that he had kept, all the stuff the kids made for him, even my weddings rings that I left behind.  Even the valentine letter he had some draw when he was in jail.  I tore up the letters and threw them out.  I think I may have to start a new thread.  S4 is home, I have a 14 year protective order, and H is now saying he won't pay for supervised visits.

I think I can call this thread end and will start a new one.  I have a feeling this next chapter is going to bring a whole different set feelings and emotions.  There is a part of me that wishes we had been able to work something out for the boys, but then there is a part of me that knows he never would of let up if I hadn't done something drastic.

[formflier]

 

I'm so glad you have the protective order and that S4 is back home.

Please be kind to yourself and do something to celebrate.

Best,

FF

[kells76]

 
What an answer to prayer! And a reflection of you working very hard to make this time different and healthy. Really proud of your work and how you have prioritized the boys.
 

[GaGrl]

Breathe...

[Cat Familiar]

You are going to have a flood of emotions now that this is coming to a final resolution. What an incredible relief!

After everything you’ve been through, the divorce will seem easy.

[CoherentMoose]

Good news.  Long hard journey, but you stayed solid and consistent.  So nice to read.  CoMo

[I Am Redeemed]

14 year protection order! That is huge. You never again have to go to court to get legal protection.

I think you did the best thing for your boys that you possibly could. No, you would have never been able to work out something with him without putting yourself at risk.

Congratulations. I'm so glad s4 is home safe. Now is the time to take the protection order paperwork to school or daycare and let them know his father is not to be allowed to pick him up. Ever.

[worriedStepmom]

I am so happy for you and S4!

You did such a good job focusing on your goals and moving towards those.  I hope you can recognize your own strength and power.  Now that you have the means to make healthier choices, you ARE, and you are building the foundations of a good life for you and your boys.

[empath]

I'm so glad that S4 is back with you! A 14-year po is huge and will definitely help to make sure that he stays with you.

Also, nice work in managing your own stress and anxiety through this whole process and keeping your eyes focused on the goal!