My now ex girlfriend and I broke up and a week later we found out she has BPD. We still talk and I hope one day to be able to get back together but she says she doesn't want to add anyone into her life because she knows she will sabotage it. Had I known when we broke up, what I know now I don't think we would have broken up. I thought I was being mistreated, and didn't understand why I was being treated the way I was. I regret this break and I do love her. I've since bought books and done research. We've had a few outburst, where she's said really hurtful things but still I love her. Everyone in my life tells me that this isn't healthy and that I need to move on but for some reason I don't want too. I feel like I'm a yo-yo and sometimes she's throwing me down, further away from her and other times she's pulling me back up closer to her. I would really love advice on how to support her in the correct way and tips for de-escalating. Really just any help at all as to how I can manage this relationship in a healthier way. She is currently searching for a therapist and has not yet started DBT. Or should I just back away from this and save myself the heartache?
Hey there my friend...
Lots of great questions here. Hard to answer them without some context. So would you mind if I asked you a few more of my own?
How long were you together?
How did you meet?
Did you or do you live together?
Are you yourself in therapy and would you consider going for yourself as she does?
Rev
