bait and ghost

[Depression = 72% of members]

Is bait and ghost a typical trait of BPD or is this more a narcissist trait?  I often get texts like "I miss you", "I think about you constantly" or attempts to make plans and as soon as I respond I do not get a response back or around the date of plans I get ghosted or ignored.  Is this typical and if so why?  What is the reasoning behind it?  If you miss someone so much or constantly think about them why do their actions negate everything they say?  You would think you would want to talk to the person you miss and think of constantly...right?

[jaysea22]

Is bait and ghost a typical trait of BPD or is this more a narcissist trait?  I often get texts like "I miss you", "I think about you constantly" or attempts to make plans and as soon as I respond I do not get a response back or around the date of plans I get ghosted or ignored.  Is this typical and if so why?  What is the reasoning behind it?  If you miss someone so much or constantly think about them why do their actions negate everything they say?  You would think you would want to talk to the person you miss and think of constantly...right?

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[Woolspinner2000]

Hi jaysea22,

I'm not very familiar with the term bait and ghost, although it does come up from time to time on the boards. I am, however, familiar with the concept that you wrote about. The title of the book I Hate You, Don't Leave Me conveys the very essence of what you are wondering about.

A pwBPD is not emotionally stable, and they go up and down, black and white. Self soothing to them is what we would often perceive as attacking. So yes, the behaviour you see can be something seen with a pwBPD. N tend to be lacking of empathy, so perhaps it can also be a trait that they have as well. A pwBPD can also have N traits, so the combination can be quite a challenge.

Wools

[NotAHero]

 It is not always intentional. Their world is in the “here and now”.a person with BPD may miss you one minute but get comforted by something or someone else and forget about you. I’m assuming you have other reasons to believe the person is BPD because this is not enough to make that conclusion.