She made a comment about how I should be thankful that she has been so patient about the way I treat her. Thankful that she hasn't already ended it because she has been "putting up with it" for so long. Then she says, "I've talked to a lot of other women that agreed you should be thankful because they would not have waited this long."
My wife has expressed this exact thing too. She hasn't told me that anyone in real life has agreed but she has told me that "she has the whole internet on her side" (I remember this quote well because it sounded funny). Also she has told me that everyone would take her side if they knew the whole story.
Sometimes I think the mere fact that you are asking and open to hearing criticism is enough for them to realize that perhaps they’re making a big deal out of something that’s insignificant. Maybe not, but if there’s a genuine complaint, then you have the power to address it, once you know exactly what it is.
It's very effective to not argue and also not put too much energy into thinking about the drama. But the next level is more "aggressive" strategies. If "not JADEing" is part of the strong defensive strategy to not feed the conflict, this suggestion by Cat Familiar would be part of an offensive strategy that kills the conflict. I would assume that a big self confidence is necessary for this to work.
