Hopeless with partner who is struggling

[Phoenix111]

Hello everyone, it's my first time writing here. I'm struggling immensely with my bf who I feel like displays bpd traits or narcissism, I can't be sure but I have a feeling he does. Our relationship has been a roller coaster since it began, now we are 1 year 6 months in. I really love him and wish things would be easier, but his gaslighting gets me into fits of panic attacks most times because I can't believe what's happening is real. It's all emotional stuff and previously I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and I just refuse to believe it's happening again when I thought I got out of that one being really strong to leave. I feel like every man is exactly the same and leads me to think it's really me that triggers them. How do I approach life in a better way  I'm a highly sensitive person and I'm having to try to dull down my feelings almost to the point of feeling numb because when I express or cry he says I'm playing the victim, which further puts me into confusion. People don't just feel upset or cry for no reason. Right now we work at the same place, I'm enjoying my job and he's not so he's in a depressed state. He always tell me to not tell him when something good happens in my day because he can't handle it. Is it normal that I should be closing my self off to protect his feelings. How can I handle him when he's at his worst in a depression. He's signed up for therapy to start next week which is a good thing. I should be enjoying life but I feel hopeless

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Jabiru]

Hi and welcome I'm sorry to hear it's been a roller coaster. Many of us here can relate.

People BP and NP can also be emotionally sensitive as you've seen. Being in a relationship with them can be a kind of special needs relationship that takes a bit extra -- see this article. You also have to take care of yourself. Take some time alone to relax. Spend time with friends or family. It's ok to have fun in life, in fact it's best.

Good to hear he's starting therapy. Let us know how things go.