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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: if you find yourself going through hell... keep going  (Read 738 times)
lostinkansas
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« on: March 09, 2010, 09:13:47 PM »

My ex BPD gf was sexually abused by her father for many years. (A sure way to "make" a BPD.)

Do you think they abuse their bf/husbands as a sort of surrogate punishment since they cannot always go back and punish the person that abused them? Sort of like a missplaced retaliation or revenge?
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Im.okay.now
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« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2010, 03:04:43 AM »

who knows for sure ? but it could be and more than likely
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« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2010, 04:57:57 AM »

No. The disorder isn't about seeking revenge- it's about fear. But she would likely choose a mate that triggers repressed memories of feared circumstances in a repetition compulsion. www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repetition_compulsion
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Tippy
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« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2010, 06:43:25 AM »

She may be projecting her anger out toward you.  This is an anger which can be triggered by anything real or perceived.  Its a defense mechanism to protect a deeply wounded core within.  Its terribly sad for them but so damaging for us on the outside.
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Manon46
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« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2010, 06:54:14 AM »

destructive right, abused children devellop that, not sure if it is the same with sexual abuse.

Can imagine it is...
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