if you find yourself going through hell... keep going

[lostinkansas]

My ex BPD gf was sexually abused by her father for many years. (A sure way to "make" a BPD.)

Do you think they abuse their bf/husbands as a sort of surrogate punishment since they cannot always go back and punish the person that abused them? Sort of like a missplaced retaliation or revenge?

[Im.okay.now]

who knows for sure ? but it could be and more than likely

[2010]

No. The disorder isn't about seeking revenge- it's about fear. But she would likely choose a mate that triggers repressed memories of feared circumstances in a repetition compulsion. www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repetition_compulsion

[Tippy]

She may be projecting her anger out toward you.  This is an anger which can be triggered by anything real or perceived.  Its a defense mechanism to protect a deeply wounded core within.  Its terribly sad for them but so damaging for us on the outside.

[Manon46]

destructive right, abused children devellop that, not sure if it is the same with sexual abuse.

Can imagine it is...