SoCalGirl
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« on: December 09, 2010, 01:56:34 PM » |
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To make a very long story short, I joined these boards 2 years ago when I was 22, going on 23. I am 25 now. I am still very young, I know. I was in a really bad relationship with my exBPDbf. I thought I had moved on and learned. Maybe I didn't.
Last year, I became involved with a former classmate in high school. He was (and still is) very soft-spoken, calm (on the surface), gentle, very soft-looking, nice, decent person with a very good education, also the same age as me. We had our ups and downs and arguments, but it seemed as if things always went back to the good times. When he was in a bad place in his life, I was always there for him, and arguably the only person there for him. We talked and talked every single day. We were best friends, technically. He always confided to me and I always confided to him. He always complimented me and told me nice things about me, how grateful he was there I was there for him.
Cut to a year later. He and I live closer to each other, much closer. Like 6 miles away. He seems to have changed into a totally different person. Last night, he tells me that he never liked me, never liked me back then, and never will. Although we have been intimate and his friends used to consider us a couple, he doesn't want us to be an official couple, and wants to tear me down. "I don't like you, I don't like you, I don't like you," he told me over and over. "I don't like talking to you". He then says that he has never liked talking to me, that things right now were the same back then. At the same time he tells me he doesn't like talking to me, he keeps on talking to me for another 30 minutes and acts as if he wants to listen to me. He appears to listen to me but he shows no remorse or empathy. He also tells me that he will never move on as long as he is connected with me, yet at the same time, he doesn't like me. None of this conversation makes sense. Things were seemingly bad just 3 weeks ago, but they were petty. We then reconciled again, made up for it, and he treated me like a Queen, and even staying over in my house just to talk to me for awhile before telling me he wanted to see me again. That was 2 weeks ago. This is now. I am still the same person. I have nothing new. His half-sister has BPD; his mother either has NPD or BPD, and they are estranged. I did not know this information until recently. He has never really had a girlfriend, but has never been promiscuous, either. In the past, he has chased two women who never ever liked him, who dated him briefly and then dumped him. But not me. I fell into the trap. I felt like he was projecting his own traits against me because the things he told me he hated about me were the exact same traits he has himself, and probably more obviously. I felt like he was splitting me back and forth.
Could this be another BPD-inflicted person in my life?
Part of me feels sane but part of me feels so weirded out by what just happened.
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