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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Nights are the Worst  (Read 1848 times)
WhyKnot
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« on: December 11, 2010, 11:18:33 AM »

Since leaving, I haven't been sleeping well.  I stay up late, afraid to go to bed.  When I do sleep, I wake up every couple of hours with thoughts of my ex.  I see her.  I even hear her voice in my head.  That's definitely not restful sleep.  It's pretty disturbing.

During the day, I can keep myself busy.  I can control my thoughts when they drift her way.  I can reframe my emotions.  But I lose that control at night.

I'd love to hear any suggestions for making it through the night.
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« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2010, 11:37:13 AM »

My nights are as well. Its' odd... I've never been through anything like this... (breakups, yes... )but it's been 5 months and I slept fine for the first two months, a bit restless, took some getting use to... but slept. NO fighting, arguing, her being drunk, walking on eggshells.

My problem is for the last two months... I can NOT sleep. NOW she is in my head constantly at night... I can fight it during the day, sometimes, it's difficult. But at night? I'm doubling up on meds (jeesh NEVER took meds!) and even those are not working. Like my body is in overdrive and my mind. I think of everything and anything. From meeting her and falling in love... the good and the bad and just all of it. I've been sleepin ON THE sofa! All of a sudden I can't seem to lay down in the bed.

I'm worried this is some sort of deeper depression than I anticipated from all this fall out. I've had no contact in a month... but it's not even that. I'm sorry, I cant' offer suggestions. I've tried pills, excercise, walks, tv on high volume, dvds, online games, playing with the dogs, tearing this house apart piece by piece cleaning, being still, allowing myself to "feel", crying non stop, drinking (yeah... that was a good idea I don't DRINK!), writing down every thought... .I can't sleep. I can't get her out of my head. Emotional Vampire... no doubt about it. ONCE bitten... I am showing ALL they signs she had, she dealt with. The panic attacks, fear, anger, doubt in myself, sleeping patterns, noise in my head, anxiety... .

and... it hurts. Really hurts.
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WhyKnot
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« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2010, 11:57:14 AM »

I've been sleepin ON THE sofa! All of a sudden I can't seem to lay down in the bed.

Last night was a new, odd feeling.  It wasn't just thoughts.  I felt something physically missing.  I wanted someone in the bed with me.  Not even my ex, just anyone.  Not sex.  Just a body next to me.

and... it hurts. Really hurts.

Yah, that too.
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« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2010, 12:13:29 PM »

It's very normal.  I went through the same thing when my stbxw and I separated for 9 months and her boyfriend moved into my house.  I would "shock" at night... have unusual twitches and felt like I was always awake... .never rested. 

Just a thought... .but when I went to counseling I was advised to NOT try to get the intrusive thoughts out of my head... but rather... find a place to be by myself and let em take their course.  I drove to an empty mall parking lot at 12a.m. and screamed my head off... beat my fists... and said out loud all the things I was afraid to admit (why is my life filled with drama, why did all I have get taken from me, why is he better than me... etc).  I found that when I started doing it... it didn't STOP the thoughts per se... .but I was being completely honest in my rants and didn't hide it from myself and the result was I got to the bottom and end of them quickly.  Instead of telling myself I didn't hurt... I faced the pain... .got knocked off my feet... got crushed... but stood back up stronger than before.  And an amazing thing that accompanied the healing... .I felt like a person again.
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WhyKnot
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« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2010, 01:59:27 PM »

Instead of telling myself I didn't hurt... I faced the pain... .got knocked off my feet... got crushed... but stood back up stronger than before.  And an amazing thing that accompanied the healing... .I felt like a person again.

That makes sense and sounds very healthy.  That's probably why it all comes out for me at night, when I'm trying to sleep.  I'm suppressing too much during the day.  These thoughts and feelings are finding their way out anyway.  I'm going to have to find a way of dealing with them instead of distracting myself from them.
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« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2010, 02:24:42 PM »

It's very normal.  I went through the same thing when my stbxw and I separated for 9 months and her boyfriend moved into my house.  I would "shock" at night... have unusual twitches and felt like I was always awake... .never rested. 

Just a thought... .but when I went to counseling I was advised to NOT try to get the intrusive thoughts out of my head... but rather... find a place to be by myself and let em take their course.  I drove to an empty mall parking lot at 12a.m. and screamed my head off... beat my fists... and said out loud all the things I was afraid to admit (why is my life filled with drama, why did all I have get taken from me, why is he better than me... etc).  I found that when I started doing it... it didn't STOP the thoughts per se... .but I was being completely honest in my rants and didn't hide it from myself and the result was I got to the bottom and end of them quickly.  Instead of telling myself I didn't hurt... I faced the pain... .got knocked off my feet... got crushed... but stood back up stronger than before.  And an amazing thing that accompanied the healing... .I felt like a person again.

I think I was two cars over from you at the mall... .doing the same thing.
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« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2010, 02:12:24 AM »

Yeah... .and in between calls I used to drive to this really secluded park on the edge of town in my district... .spotlight the lake to make sure I was alone and make all the late night lovers flee like cockroaches... .then sit quietly on the bench and cry.  Had to pull it together if I got a call but usually I did it at around 4 am and I was a zombie.  Other weird behavior I experienced but was assured it was normal (note: I didn't know what BPD was at the time and found out on of her co-workers was my replacement and they were having sex for months and months when I left for work)

I would shower a lot... .almost compulsively... .multiple times a day... .I always felt dirty.

I would go into these dream like states for a few minutes when I felt like I was looking over my own shoulder.

I would wander around the streets with no attention span just replaying all the things in my head OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

I could NOT focus on anything but the emptiness inside my heart.  15 years over in flash.

EVERY day was Groundhog day and it didn't seem to get any better.  They all seemed the same and I panicked at times the pain wouldn't go away.

I rewound the events leading up to the separation in my head and beat myself up for missing the 1,000,000 clues and red flags I intentionally ignored.

I got mad at GOD... .really, really mad... .because I kept my vows and respected my marriage despite being beaten down within it.

I felt like I was the only person in the world... I mean... I would totally feel like no one could see me, hear me, or sense my presence when I was there.

I had total and complete break downs when I had intrusive thoughts about her having sex.  You can't stop these types of thoughts and they were very powerful surges of panic mixed with worry and remorse... shaken over a healthy dose of crystal clear pain and poured over a burning ego.  I remember standing at the copying machine at work when one snuck up on me and wrapped around the back of my neck, went down my spine, and made my legs so weak I COULD NOT stay standing up.  I had to sit on the floor, my head was so cloudy, and gather my composure.  At that time I was glad I worked mids and no one was around to see it.

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sparky
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« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2010, 02:30:41 AM »

For those of you that can't sleep... .may I suggest diphenhydromine?  It's generic Benadryl (not the 'non-drowsy' version), it's cheap, it's non-addictive, it doesn't leave you feeling groggy in the morning and it works for me!  It was suggested to my xBPDbf by his T when he was having trouble sleeping, so I tried it.  I have the same problem a lot of nights after 14 weeks out. 

Sleep is really important during such stressful times, you gotta have it!  My understanding is this stuff is harmless - I just know it works for me and it will probably work for you.  If you don't believe me (and why should you  ) ask your local pharmacist. 

Just a suggestion... .
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« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2010, 03:03:33 AM »



Hang in there everyone. I know how it feels too - nights are terrible... .when the thoughts just dont stop, goes round and round...  

I hate the occasional nights, like last night, when I actually dreamt of my exudBPDgf... .and woke up feeling every emotion I had tried to put away and sort out all over again!

I cant offer anyone much good advise... sometimes posting on here, or at least typing it out helped a little for me...   other times it is just one breath at a time... just try to get on with living, sleeping, laying and just trying to focus on breathing instead of focusing on the spinning cloud of thoughts... . 

sigh... .

sometimes I wonder if the damage that we have allowed ourselves to take is so irreversible that we ourselves can no longer have successful relationships with nons
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RealEyes
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« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2010, 03:23:58 AM »

For those of you that can't sleep... .may I suggest diphenhydromine?  It's generic Benadryl (not the 'non-drowsy' version), it's cheap, it's non-addictive, it doesn't leave you feeling groggy in the morning and it works for me!  It was suggested to my xBPDbf by his T when he was having trouble sleeping, so I tried it.  I have the same problem a lot of nights after 14 weeks out. 

Sleep is really important during such stressful times, you gotta have it!  My understanding is this stuff is harmless - I just know it works for me and it will probably work for you.  If you don't believe me (and why should you  ) ask your local pharmacist. 

Just a suggestion... .

Yup, Walmart has 100 caps for about $4,, i stirred a few caps into some tea for an X, i now feel was BPD, to shut him down after complaining way too much after a great day of hiking, there are several Herbalistic and Pharmaceuticals to help too as im sure you already know about.

good luck
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« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2010, 06:58:34 AM »

Excerpt
i stirred a few caps into some tea for an X, i now feel was BPD, to shut him down after complaining way too much after a great day of hiking

Please, please, please -dont ever do this again. It is entirely inappropriate to drug another human being and to do so without their knowledge. What if this person who's tea you've spiked started feeling poorly and had the runs or even had to be rushed to the hospital?  You would be held accountable. Safe or not, this is a violation of trust and personal rights. Ask yourself how you would feel if someone did this to you.  Idea

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« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2010, 07:00:22 AM »

Excerpt
i stirred a few caps into some tea for an X, i now feel was BPD, to shut him down after complaining way too much after a great day of hiking

Please, please, please -dont ever do this again. It is entirely inappropriate to drug another human being and to do so without their knowledge. What if this person who's tea you've spiked started feeling poorly and had the runs or even had to be rushed to the hospital?  You would be held accountable. Safe or not, this is a violation of trust and personal rights. Ask yourself how you would feel if someone did this to you.  Idea

I too thought about doing something similar. It is wrong at the end of the day, I guess you're doing whatever it takes to "help".
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« Reply #12 on: December 12, 2010, 02:02:35 PM »

Excerpt
i stirred a few caps into some tea for an X, i now feel was BPD, to shut him down after complaining way too much after a great day of hiking

Please, please, please -dont ever do this again. It is entirely inappropriate to drug another human being and to do so without their knowledge. What if this person who's tea you've spiked started feeling poorly and had the runs or even had to be rushed to the hospital?  You would be held accountable. Safe or not, this is a violation of trust and personal rights. Ask yourself how you would feel if someone did this to you.  Idea

i'd dated him for about 2 years by now, he had taken them on his own before then bc of his allergies, he knew they made him sleepy. i needed peace and to not have another asthma flare up after he treated me in a way during a horrible road rage on a narrow stretch of road that could have killed us both, so i simply added something to his tea he was already taking to shut him down bc he didn't want to leave my place and would do it again n a heartbeat if i allowed him to be in my life as i had to deal with while dating him. It became survival of the fittest by then by making him a sleepy time tea. In the end the man thanked me for more than getting him to fall asleep when he began to rage, i helped him to get out into the nature by finally hiking, slimming down by eating right and even going to the beach several times, something he never did even thou he lived in a beach town for over a year before moving to my town and also got him to stop at least telling me he wanted to commit suicide and the world was coming to an end. yadayadayada... .He wanted to come back after the break up, i told him no, couldn't handle the mood swings anymore. I know what i'm doing with anyone that comes into my life for the safety of us both, certainly me first, human, sentient being or plant organisms in general. I heal, never harm or kill anything living as a practicing Jain and someone that knows a lot about what benedryl can simply do when added to non caffeinated tea.  most people know at least that if they take in general.  Idea

im a big girl 2010, i know how to handle even dangerous men in the safest manner possible even thou you cant see it that way right now. at least know that every situation isn't as you see it all the time but thanks thou.







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« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2010, 02:17:50 PM »

Excerpt
i stirred a few caps into some tea for an X, i now feel was BPD, to shut him down after complaining way too much after a great day of hiking

Please, please, please -dont ever do this again. It is entirely inappropriate to drug another human being and to do so without their knowledge. What if this person who's tea you've spiked started feeling poorly and had the runs or even had to be rushed to the hospital?  You would be held accountable. Safe or not, this is a violation of trust and personal rights. Ask yourself how you would feel if someone did this to you.  Idea

I too thought about doing something similar. It is wrong at the end of the day, I guess you're doing whatever it takes to "help".

right, we knew each other well enough to know we both took benedryl to help us sleep for years. what was wrong was his actions that caused me to try to stop the harm he was doing to me out of the blue n my home now when he could have simply driven back home. I did NOT want him to touch me while sleeping anymore bc he didn't make love, it felt like work in the most bizarre act ever today, he needed to sleep off his rage but he still woke up like he was dead in the morning almost EVERY MORNING, i was over him BIG TIME after that last road rage. He once ran after my gun to tell me to kill him over nothing. By then i had hid it knowing he was about to rage after giving me the silent treatment for hours on our way back home from a hike, I needed me and him to be safe that nite, not him looking for my gun again? I did what was needed for the both of us since we both took it anyway, i just added it to his tea that night so he wouldn't end up wanting to drink Brandy and to become more of a deadly monster.
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Checkmate
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« Reply #14 on: December 12, 2010, 02:28:56 PM »

I'm in the process of ending things now and sleeping at night is one of the biggest fears I've got. For all of our problems, sleepig together was one of the things we did best. We fit against eachother like gloves. For years, I would fall asleep and we would wake up still snuggled. It felt right from the beginning. It still feels right.

When I travel I never sleep properly. I only sleep well when I get back home.

Of everything in our relationship, this is going to be in the top five things I will truly miss. 3 1/2 years is along time to sleep with someone.
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« Reply #15 on: December 12, 2010, 02:51:14 PM »

I'm in the process of ending things now and sleeping at night is one of the biggest fears I've got. For all of our problems, sleepig together was one of the things we did best. We fit against eachother like gloves. For years, I would fall asleep and we would wake up still snuggled. It felt right from the beginning. It still feels right.

When I travel I never sleep properly. I only sleep well when I get back home.

Of everything in our relationship, this is going to be in the top five things I will truly miss. 3 1/2 years is along time to sleep with someone.

My sleep time tea X loved sleeping with me but the love making wasnt what i wanted anymore at night or n the morning, i did love the fact that he'd come to the side of my bed and hug me before he went back to his town 60 miles away or to work n our town. But he always made a grunting sound because of his allergy ONLY N THE MORNING that annoyed the hell out of me.

I so feel for the young man that cant sleep anymore bc of experience with his XBPDgf here. Sleep is so essential for our well being, i dont sleep much bc of my asthma that flares up while sleeping and dating my sleepy time guy didn't help at all, only benedryl did thank goodness for us both!

i felt somewhat safer that he was there nonetheless as he slept but not while he was awake unfortunately.
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« Reply #16 on: December 12, 2010, 07:15:16 PM »

I'm in the process of ending things now and sleeping at night is one of the biggest fears I've got. For all of our problems, sleepig together was one of the things we did best. We fit against eachother like gloves. For years, I would fall asleep and we would wake up still snuggled. It felt right from the beginning. It still feels right.

When I travel I never sleep properly. I only sleep well when I get back home.

Of everything in our relationship, this is going to be in the top five things I will truly miss. 3 1/2 years is along time to sleep with someone.

My sleep time tea X loved sleeping with me but the love making wasnt what i wanted anymore at night or n the morning, i did love the fact that he'd come to the side of my bed and hug me before he went back to his town 60 miles away or to work n our town. But he always made a grunting sound because of his allergy ONLY N THE MORNING that annoyed the hell out of me.

I so feel for the young man that cant sleep anymore bc of experience with his XBPDgf here. Sleep is so essential for our well being, i dont sleep much bc of my asthma that flares up while sleeping and dating my sleepy time guy didn't help at all, only benedryl did thank goodness for us both!

i felt somewhat safer that he was there nonetheless as he slept but not while he was awake unfortunately.

just incase there was a miss understanding - i am nolt talking about sex or making love - i am talking about sleeping - we have always just felt right sleeping at night with eachother - once this is all done and finished with, i am going to totally miss that
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« Reply #17 on: December 12, 2010, 11:30:46 PM »

I dont think anyone here read you miss sex or love making but the person in general, i hope you find peace and happiness again at night with another n life while getting thru this tough phase, much love~~
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« Reply #18 on: December 12, 2010, 11:37:19 PM »

I dont think anyone here read you miss sex or love making but the person in general, i hope you find peace and happiness again at night with another n life while getting thru this tough phase, much love~~

thanks ... .i am realizing that there are only three real things I'm going to miss with my ex ... .

1. Going to the movies

2. Going to the annual sci fi convention that we both love

3. Sleeping with him at night ... .Thinking about this one is just making me cry ... .Why is it that so many of us have issus with the sleeping part? I can't imagine this not being a part of my life ... .Literally no one has ever just felt so good to sleep with (and I'm no said, I tried out more than my fair share) ... .As I'm writing this, tears are running down my face ... .Who would have thought that this would be the hardest part of it for me?
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« Reply #19 on: December 13, 2010, 01:08:24 AM »

I cant know your pain but hope it goes away for i've never bonded in sleep with anyone other than my body pillow or furrychild, not my hubby of 10 years i only lived with, my child always had her own bed, all my Xs after never lived with me even thou we slept together off and on for a few years, i preferred my own space. Many of my Xs needed something on, a fan or too cold air condition, or too much heat, never did i ever sleep with any that snored for long. Knowing that i have my bills paid, my health, a job, all things running ok gave me enough to try to get a least maybe the most 6 hours a night. I think a few times i slept over 8 in my 51 years.

Being attached to another human for rest would, could destroy my health more than anything, i just sleep too light to ever have bonded with another for that too happen.

I'm somewhat envious of anyone for being able to have experienced that peace and joy like that while sleeping with another person, maybe oneday i will meet that one for life but i think i have some type of phobia that keeps me from doing such bc of what you all that cant get it anymore due to another human thats not there for us anymore.

I may have a fear of committing to sleep or to live with someone but not love, hmmm? 
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« Reply #20 on: December 13, 2010, 03:32:54 AM »

hey there Checkmate.  Do you think it might be because it's the only normal thing you actually DID have together?  I understand completely and I've done much digging into my own needs/wants/wishes/and fears.  I think what it came down to for me was simply this:

I took a vow for better or worse and stuck it out through the worse... UNTIL she started having random sex for valuation.  But in the 15 years it took for her to cycle to that desperation I was stuck (and for a short time still am) in a vortex of drama, worry, fighting, anxiety, danger, you name it.  But in the meantime, I was a human being... in need of love, support, affection, touch, and everything else that is supposed to be included in a marriage or relationship for my well being.  Being in lack of these... .and feeling none of the positive feelings in my marriage left me with a huge void too.  Sometimes maybe sleeping with her... .quiet, alone, and just to feel someone there was just enough false sense of security to IMAGINE things would get better so it was the only time when I felt "safe".   
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« Reply #21 on: December 13, 2010, 10:16:16 AM »

hey there Checkmate.  Do you think it might be because it's the only normal thing you actually DID have together?  I understand completely and I've done much digging into my own needs/wants/wishes/and fears.  I think what it came down to for me was simply this:

now that is interesting ... the things i listed are very normal things ... .and this one was the one that is the closest to true affection ... .

i'm going to have to think about it but it has a ring of truth to it ... .

i am truly beginning to believe i'm mourning this relationship alot, actually i'm mourning the loss of the person i met and who disappeared after the first year or so ... .i truly love that person, but this person i'm dealing with now is making my life miserable ...
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« Reply #22 on: December 13, 2010, 07:41:42 PM »



  I know what i'm doing with anyone that comes into my life for the safety of us both, certainly me first
, human, sentient being or plant organisms in general. I heal, never harm or kill anything living as a practicing Jain and someone that knows a lot about what benedryl can simply do when added to non caffeinated tea.  most people know at least that if they take in general.  Idea

im a big girl 2010, i know how to handle even dangerous men in the safest manner possible even thou you cant see it that way right now. at least know that every situation isn't as you see it all the time but thanks thou.

That's bs.  You can't possibly justify drugging someone without their consent.  Your being a big girl is why you'd go to prison if anything happened to someone you decided to drug.  It's illegal no matter how you attempt to justify it.
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« Reply #23 on: December 13, 2010, 08:35:38 PM »



 I know what i'm doing with anyone that comes into my life for the safety of us both, certainly me first
, human, sentient being or plant organisms in general. I heal, never harm or kill anything living as a practicing Jain and someone that knows a lot about what benedryl can simply do when added to non caffeinated tea.  most people know at least that if they take in general.  Idea

im a big girl 2010, i know how to handle even dangerous men in the safest manner possible even thou you cant see it that way right now. at least know that every situation isn't as you see it all the time but thanks thou.

That's bs.  You can't possibly justify drugging someone without their consent.  Your being a big girl is why you'd go to prison if anything happened to someone you decided to drug.  It's illegal no matter how you attempt to justify it.

Actually whats bullsht is that he was an Illegal Immigrant from Italy with a 4k a month job n the USA a citizen here could have had instead, he also built homes and brought property then abandon them when the bubble burst, so good luck to YOU in getting that creep to come back and prosecute me for protecting myself from his dangerous crimes against me AND also protecting him and myself from him getting my gun that day while he raged at me, ok?

he got off easy BIG TIME for i can really be brutal on an hit_ bringing the type madness he brought to me the way he did before i knew about BPD! I've done more than that to men that scared the crap out of me for no reason, OH! with the help of Cops i've known for over 30 years now from the gym scene. i have a serious form of PTSD after dealing with men since the age of 14yo after being sexually assaulted by a guy and more. I tend to not play anymore after that day with aggressive males, haven't been to a bar for maybe 15 years bc i dont deal well with drunk men trying to hit on me after i've said "no", they end up finding out the hard way what it meant, and i end up in court trying to beat what they looked like after the fact, not fun but have never been convicted of any crimes. SO i do whats needed to keep it safe for us best when it gets rough with someone i date ONLY, strangers didn't get so lucky.

so nice of you to care for his well being, someone should have before he grew up to become the monster he'd become so women didn't have to deal with a very angry suicidal child in an extremely handsome Italian man's body! My friends would say it was only the Italian n him, that was also BS now that i find out about BPD!

The last man i still care for and is seeing again, who i certainly feel has BPD, thats why i ended up here, knows what lengths i'll take to tame a wild horse, for after he attempted to treat me like a stalker, we ended up in Court where the Judge sitting next to our case used to follow me around n high school. The Court ended up throwing an RO on him even where he never did anything to me at, but rage once, for 30 days and wrote the RO so that if i knocked on his door, he had to run out of his home to call the Cops if he thought he needed to but nothing would happen to me for doing that. I got the RO to not only protect myself from him BUT him from me:)! I do have a past record for being a bad girl when men messed with me in the past. It worked and he now is much calmer but still gets angry about things, just not in the crazy blaming way that ended us up n court anymore. This man has been worth the fight and i've also given him my legal meds which is illegal too, but bc he needs them for himself, dont really like sharing those that much like the non narcotics called Benedryl, i know, such bs for protecting myself and also willfully dating someone with BPD after the facts.

thanks for caring:)!
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RealEyes
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« Reply #24 on: December 13, 2010, 09:54:44 PM »

and by the way, anyone here thinks they are NOT being seriously drugged by The Food Industry is living in a fantasy world. Most food (especially dead animals and fish) thats non organic has been agricultured in dangerous toxic drugs and chemicals without our consent, that will cause many mental and physical ailments here and now and these businesses will never being held accountable for doing this horrible crime to those that consume such products.

I did teach that to the creep i gave the over the counter meds n his tea that he already took before that day that info he truly thanked me for when he tried to get back with me months after the break up, and i did tell him the next day i stirred the benedryl into his tea the night before. if he become a cry baby that next day as he was most of the time, then maybe i'd would have broken up with him that day, what a victim he had become by then and an enabler i had become, ya think? After he was gone out of my life i had the best sleep possible, thank goodness~

no more worst nights after that r/s, hopefully the author of this thread will be able to have them again too~~~
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« Reply #25 on: December 14, 2010, 01:27:20 AM »

My T tought me that in order to release the thoughts, I was going to have to feel them in my body.  She said thoughts get trapped in your head, but if you allow them to pass to your body (without judgement of self) they will pass.  Before I started doing this, I'd think the same thing over and over and over.  The closest I got to shutting the noise off was when I'd say something angry to myself.  Something like F-you.  Now, that didn't help a thing.  But, allowing myself to acknowledge that I was feeling anger towards ex for doing xyz during the day seemed to shut him up at night. 

My T also said there may be times when he's thinking of me and I sense the energy. 

I'm sorry you're going through this kind of pain.  It does hurt so badly.
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RealEyes
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« Reply #26 on: December 14, 2010, 01:54:50 AM »

 

My T also said there may be times when he's thinking of me and I sense the energy.  

I'm sorry you're going through this kind of pain.  It does hurt so badly.

Im surprise a T would say that to people who are already obsessing 24/7 about their XBPD? The T is hired to help you to not THINK you are sensing anymore energy, no more anything from the X no matter what HE MIGHT BE THINKING ABOUT? So what next, you now believe you are sensing him thinking about you again bc s'he said that even thou you went to this T for was to not sense anything about him so you can move on by not wanting to know what he's thinking now so you can heal? Maybe you can ask another T was this the right thing to say to you just for a 2nd opinion?
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