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Author Topic: The compliment that isn't...  (Read 405 times)
empath
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 848


« on: November 15, 2016, 06:02:20 PM »

Backstory: For the past year or so, I've been training for a skill based career so that I have the ability to support myself and the kids if my uBPDh decides to not try anymore. This new career is not something that is interesting to me in the long run, and it doesn't really fit my personality, skills, or giftings. It's functional more than anything and allows me to manage my energy to pursue areas that are more suited to me. I can't pursue those areas currently because of the instability of our family life. This is a way for me to be unstuck and move forward.

I'm almost finished with the training, now. My husband has decided that he needs to compliment me on this accomplishment.

H: I admire that you have stuck with the program and finished it. It is really something that you would do that even though you don't like it. I wouldn't be able to do something like that.

me: thank you

H: I'm trying to give you a compliment; you just don't know how to take a compliment.

me: okay, thank you. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say.



-- I'm oh, so tempted to say yeah, I know you wouldn't be able to do it, but I know better. I could say so many things that I just don't. The thing that strikes me is that the compliment is about how he would not be able to do it, not really acknowledging me.

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ArleighBurke
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: was married - 15 yrs
Posts: 911


« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2016, 07:01:11 PM »

I think your simply reply is perfect.

He was probably fishing for you to say something about him - but too bad. I get a lot of this everyday from my wife - most of it I just ignore and move on. Who knows what's in their brains!
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