BPD cleanliness

[Lostone1314]

Mine wasn't that dirty, but I do remember a blatant disregard for things.   He and his kids would waste food.  That really bugged me. 

Yard tools & mower being left out in the rain to rust, etc.  Alot of things were thrown away from being neglected, and then replaced with new ones.  The funny thing is... .I would soon learn that I was easily discarded and replaceable too.

He did have this weird thing with styrofoam cup refills from the corner store.  The first time I ever went to visit him, he had about 50 of them in his bedroom, it was gross.  I remember persuading him to choose one and throw the rest away, .  He sure did like those refills from the corner store.  I got more than a few of those dumped on me too when he would get mad.  Oh the memories... .

So to answer your question, he was not a clean freak, but he was not filthy either.   

YEP My uBPDexgf was exactly the same... her kids as well especially the teen daughter both kids  had personal hygeine issues... i thought that perahps her home was old and run down that she would respect my home and make it her own with pride cause it was Modern and new but NO she made no effort i was left to clean up everything even after her own kids pulling soiled laundry from their robes especially the daughter who wouldnt use sanitary pads "YUK" of course i was labled a clean freak.

[ppb2la]

Mine was pretty clean. While he didn't admit to being either BPD or NPD ( which he is), he did tell me he has some OCD symptoms. He would always tell the barista at the coffee bar to wash his/her hands before preparing his cup of Joe!

[SummerStorm]

In terms of personal hygiene, mine was very clean, except for when her depression was really bad and she was at home in bed.  Back in April, she visited her mom in another state and texted me to tell me that she hadn't taken a shower in like two days.  When she was smoking pot, things went downhill because she spent so much time smoking pot that she didn't have time to clean up and do her hair in the morning. 

I never went to her apartment, but based on what she said, it was a mess.  Back in March, a friend of hers was visiting from Europe, and the day before he came, my former friend BPD said that she needed to go home and try to make her room look presentable.  Once, she texted me to say that there was some kind of weird goop in her freezer.  When she went to pack up all of her stuff, she told me that she threw out five garbage bags of stuff.  This was after she had been living in the place for maybe three months.  I've lived in my house for 29 years and probably couldn't fill up five garbage bags with stuff I no longer want/need.   

At work, her desk was an absolute disaster.  During student teaching, everything was just piled up all over the place.  I don't know how she found anything.  Then, she moved into a long-term sub position, and it was more of the same. 

When she stayed over my house, her stuff ended up all over the place.  We would get home at about 3:30 or so, and by 7, I would look, and her pill bottles were on one bookshelf, her face cream was on my dresser, her bag was on my floor, her laptop was on my bed, her dirty clothes were on the floor, not in her bag, and at least two pairs of shoes were on the floor.  Her makeup bag and everything would be in the bathroom, on the cabinet where my cats like to sit.

There was always stuff in her car.  I would walk by it in the morning, and there were things on the passenger seat and in the backseat.   

[crawler]

Mine was a disaster. Her place was extremely messy, clothes and other things thrown everywhere around, sometimes even garbage bags were being kept in a corner, dishes on the floor. When I used to come over to stay for a few days she was lazy enough to not clean out "my part of the closet" so I had to keep my clothes in the bag I brought them in. And of course she would get mad that the room is dirty because of me?

Also when she would come over I would make the place clean and all, she even had an entire closet for herself. Yet after spending five minutes at my place the room would look like a bomb was thrown. Makeup, clothing, everything was being tossed around and I had to plea multiple times for her to pick the stuff up so that I could vacuum for instance. And if I would start picking her things up, she would get mad.

[ShadowIntheNight]

My ex's place was a pig sty. She always would tell me about how messy her exH had been, throwing his gym bag in a corner, etc. she didn't throw her gym stuff in a corner, at least put them in the clothes hamper, but beyond that it was amazing how messy she was. And she blamed it on her two young kids too. After 9.5 years together you'd think she would have been a better house keeper. No. She was probably worse. And whoever mentioned about her raging on Saturday mornings because she was having to clean the house? My ex to a tee. And her poor kids having to endure it. I didn't live with her, but got to hear about it every Saturday morning. Every Saturday.

I haven't seen her in quite a while and know she's with someone else. I wonder how he's thinking this beautiful angel he's found is such a massive pig. Even in her car too. I guess, like me, she convinced him of how hard she worked, how tired she was, and how messy her kids are. She used to tell me that when she didn't have kids her house was spotless. I don't think you can live 10 years in a filthy home just because you have kids. Unless you're used to it already... .Typical lies and manipulation on her part.

[antelope]

mine was a mixed bag... .I guess her cleanliness fluctuated with her emotions, and probably with her partners too... .

she wasn't as messy as she could be dirty, and definitely had elements of hoarding in there too (she was a compulsive shopper)

[greenmonkey]

She told me she cleaned when she was upset.

After June when I started to fight back, she had a shower approx once a week  , her washing just piled and piled up. Her room as she was now living in the spare room, just stank it was vile. Her bedsheets again changed if she remembered - bear in mind her son aged 11 slept in the same bed as her.

She looked herself as she was a god if she washed up her breakfast bowl and mug in the morning.

She hoarded her sons toys and clothes that she had no chance of ever fitting it in again.

And the rages continued as it was fault about everything - lovely

She turned into someone skanky unhygienic and gross. Any other woman was welcome to her