I'm wondering if he'll react again to this date.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi family!

Curious about everyone's experience regarding specific dates / events with their BPD exes.  :)o you feel that these are "triggers" for them?  Me specifically - I'm currently blocked on FB (since December) and painted a lovely shade of black due to not accepting a Friend Request from my exBPDbf. However - there is a very significant date coming up next week. An "anniversary" of sorts for us.

I'm wondering if he'll react again to this date. He did last year. I ignored it. Now - here it comes again. I've been receiving "Restricted" phone calls on my cell phone since the date that he blocked me. Never received a "Restricted" call prior to that. I understand you can hide your number from showing up on Caller i.d. by using *67 prior to entering the number of the party you're calling. Why you would need to do this is beyond me.

So - just wondering if others have experienced issues with their exes "acting up" on special dates / events and what was the reaction from them / you? Has it continued long after you ceased contact?


Thanks as always!

L.    

[lipstick]

Hi family!

Curious about everyone's experience regarding specific dates / events with their BPD exes.  :)o you feel that these are "triggers" for them?  Me specifically - I'm currently blocked on FB (since December) and painted a lovely shade of black due to not accepting a Friend Request from my exBPDbf. However - there is a very significant date coming up next week. An "anniversary" of sorts for us.

I'm wondering if he'll react again to this date. He did last year. I ignored it. Now - here it comes again. I've been receiving "Restricted" phone calls on my cell phone since the date that he blocked me. Never received a "Restricted" call prior to that. I understand you can hide your number from showing up on Caller i.d. by using *67 prior to entering the number of the party you're calling. Why you would need to do this is beyond me.

So - just wondering if others have experienced issues with their exes "acting up" on special dates / events and what was the reaction from them / you? Has it continued long after you ceased contact?


Thanks as always!

L.    

[JLK1011]

Hi,

I wondered that, too, but my current but soon to be ex always say that certain actions of mine are triggers for him. He claims it could be the way I touched his hand. I have no clue what he is talking about but I guess it makes sense it him.

[johny07]

I think my ex had a bit of date fetish. 13th of march, on that day we set the facebook relationship status (she did, I didn't mind). Recently I found out that on the exact same day she broke up with her boyfriend and kicked him out of her life. He had no idea about me until he saw me on her facebook profile and I had no idea about him (she had told me she wasn't with anybody for 6 months), I was a classic replacement. Interesting thing, 13th march was their anniversary date, they dated for 2 years. On the 13th of March two years before that she did the exact same thing with the boyfriend before, the 2 guys actually had a fight over her that day. I didn't manage to stay in the relationship whole year so I have no idea how she 'celebrated' this years march.

Anyway, I wondered maybe the triggering dates can be some important childhood events, something to do with the parents. I have no idea but there have been a lot of people noticing that some dates really matter for BPDs.

[lipstick]

Just an update - I logged onto FB this morning and discovered I have an anonymous "follower". Yesterday I had seven people "following". Today I have eight. And I can't see who it is. I have no idea how you go about "following" someone anonymously. Anyone know?

Anyway - thought it was interesting considering our "anniversary" is just a few days away now.

I may have to change my FB settings so that followers are no longer allowed! 

L.

[seeking balance]

Hey Lipstick,

How do YOU feel about all this?  Sounds like you might be anxious or nervous?

Peace,

SB

[lipstick]

Hi Seeking Balance,

I don't really feel much of anything. Maybe a tad bit anxious - only in a selfish way, though. Like in a - "oh, if he reacts - it means I'm not forgotten!" kind of way. Some sort of weird validation, maybe?

I'm now roughly 18 months out from the ":)iscard" and Silent Treatment. Now I just feel weary in my head with the whole thing. Is that normal?  Just finally getting tired of all of it? That's where I'm at. I will always love him - but it will always have to be from a distance. I just have this nagging feeling that he continues to watch me.

L.