Length of courtship v length of relationship?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Just interested.  My ex BPD pursued me for a year, I was very boundaries etc and then I suppose I fell for him.  We were together for a yr after that but it got pretty bad 4/5 months in.  I inadvertently triggered abandonment fears and he dumped me as he was pursuing. Someone else.  I think he had wanted to hang on to me til he had fully secured the replacement but in any case they got to know together in only a few months.  I suppose I just feel he had got to know me but don't think the same is true for her - is their relationship likely to implode quicker or is the opposite true.  Grateful for any thoughts x

[merlin4926]

Just interested.  My ex BPD pursued me for a year, I was very boundaries etc and then I suppose I fell for him.  We were together for a yr after that but it got pretty bad 4/5 months in.  I inadvertently triggered abandonment fears and he dumped me as he was pursuing. Someone else.  I think he had wanted to hang on to me til he had fully secured the replacement but in any case they got to know together in only a few months.  I suppose I just feel he had got to know me but don't think the same is true for her - is their relationship likely to implode quicker or is the opposite true.  Grateful for any thoughts x