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Author Topic: Painful truth revealed in therapy  (Read 1473 times)
Reality
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« Reply #30 on: December 23, 2012, 06:47:31 PM »

Dear mikmik.

You see us as we are and yes, you are always there for me and for the rest of us.  That is why I can say with confidence that you are a kind and thoughtful mother.

Nonetheless, our shadows run deep in the unconscious.  Is your darling dd picking up your shadows?

Just wondering what you think... .

Reality
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
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« Reply #31 on: December 24, 2012, 01:04:12 PM »

WTSP,

What a wonderful post.  Wirh my dd, I guess just like it is dark in winter, our cars are old, we need to go to the grocery store.  These are things we can accept, because they just "are"and they don't involve such powerful dreams.  We don't have much control over it  I guess knowing that our kids are they way they are, just like darkness in winter, and the need for groceries, it is as simple as that.  We can hope that we will have fabulous tropical winters in the north, but that isn't how it is.  But, the first and most painful step for me, is to say, my life is a dark winter.  And once I get over that I am not in Florida, but in the Mid West, I can put on my winter coat and fabulous red leather gloves and get on with it.  Sounds so simple. sigh.

 mik
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mikmik
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« Reply #32 on: December 24, 2012, 01:07:02 PM »

Reality,

As always, you speak the truth.  My shadows.  Yes.  You have noted in the past that these children pick up on such nuances.  Their senstivities are acute.  Yes, she is not who I hoped for. Who would wish BPD on anyone?  But how to to move past that, to the fact I love her, but I hope for her healing and peace of mind, and ability to live her life?

mik
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vivekananda
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« Reply #33 on: January 17, 2013, 05:36:04 PM »

But, the first and most painful step for me, is to say, my life is a dark winter.  And once I get over that I am not in Florida, but in the Mid West, I can put on my winter coat and fabulous red leather gloves and get on with it.  Sounds so simple. sigh.

I am thinking of you mik mik. I have been wondering how you are? I wish I could sit and listen to you over a cup of hot chocolate or something.

viv   
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mikmik
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« Reply #34 on: January 18, 2013, 04:34:46 AM »

ViveK,

Thanks for your words.  It helps so much.  We could have a cup of something, and give a "Cheers" to each other, no matter the time of day!

mik
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opheliasmom

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« Reply #35 on: January 18, 2013, 01:18:02 PM »

VivieK, MIk Mik and all, I have just started reading these boards again.  My dwpd was out of my life for a short time and now she is back.  Reading this thread especially lets me know that I am not alone, that others are coping with this and many of you are doing it with grace, beauty and wisdom.  Thanks to all who post here because it is so helpful and comforting.
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mikmik
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« Reply #36 on: January 18, 2013, 05:16:08 PM »

opheliasmom

Welcome back. And yes, there is a sense of peace in the fact that we are not alone, just at times isolated.  That is why posting here is so important.

mik
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vivekananda
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« Reply #37 on: January 19, 2013, 12:51:36 AM »

this place is like a lodestone to me. I think that's the right word.

my frineds here have helped me so much and continue to do so. Here I get put back on track if I stray. Here I get support and loving kindness. Here I learn so much about what is the most important thing in my life - my relationship with my dd. Yes, most impt because dh doesn't need me, he is not unwell - but dd does and is. Mum, needs me, but not the same as dd.

opheliasmom, welcome back and hope you hang around and join the discussions 

mikmik - cheers baby, I just downed a whole cuppa tea   what's your poison tonight?

viv   
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mikmik
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« Reply #38 on: January 19, 2013, 02:02:43 PM »

Having a bagel and cream cheese with nova lox, and a glass of red wine.  No tea till tomorrow morning... .    ahhhhh

mik
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whiletheseasonspass
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« Reply #39 on: January 19, 2013, 02:58:47 PM »

mikmik,

It has been ages since I had a bagel with cream cheese and lox.  Sounds dreamy!  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)   Hope you enjoyed it greatly... .  and with that glass of red wine too. 



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vivekananda
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« Reply #40 on: January 19, 2013, 04:03:36 PM »

wotz nova lox? Never heard of it... .  some weird yankee food?

viv  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
cfh
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« Reply #41 on: January 19, 2013, 09:40:44 PM »

viv

LOL!  If you were a New Yorker you would know... .  best way to describe it is smoked salmon.  But it's way more than that.

Now I'm dreaming of a pastrami on rye from Katz's.
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vivekananda
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« Reply #42 on: January 20, 2013, 04:17:35 PM »

we have pastrami and rye too, but we don't eat cats... .  although there was a scandal with missing cats and one of our national treats, dim sims... .  

we do have amazing Atlantic salmon farmed in the cold waters of Tasmania - yumm! Dh makes a gravalax that is rather wonderful - perhaps that's what you are referring to. It is salmon cured in vodka with salt sugar and fennel I think. We also get fresh Southern salmon here... .  a different taste altogether.

yum... .  food!
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mikmik
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« Reply #43 on: January 20, 2013, 04:21:43 PM »

Ha ViveK,

My husband (a Manhattanite) also calls it Nova.  Got some fresh sliced, a bit of onion, a great fresh bagel.  So far, cream cheese is cream cheese, unless cfh puts me in my place! ha.  We have to take our joy where we can, even if it is from fish.

mik
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