is she trying to get me to break NC?

[waitaminute]

Said goodbye and went nc several months ago. Multiple reasons but mostly because of her secrecy, lies, and hiding during our long distance rs while we waited for a visa for her. That is besides the issues of her living with some guy during the past few years.

So... .  Nc.

But she has sent texts and emails that range from loving to hating, threats and pleading. Now a new twist. I wonder if she is so creative and trying to get a response or is she just confused as usual.

Apparently she is getting sexual and obscene emails from someone. She thinks it's me. I've never done anything like that in my life. It is much more likely that her sexual flirtation on Twitter (with names like "lust and dust" ) has produced its rewards... .  A pervert who wants to send obscene emails and (not sure but apparently) pictures.

So she is responding angrily and sarcastically to his email and putting my own email address in too. Now... .  Is she really so confused or is it an attempt to get me to break NC to defend myself. Somewhat a rhetorical question because I won't break NC. Just sharing this experience with you.

[Newton]

yep sounds similar to when my ex called out of the blue... .  from a withheld number accusing me of calling her phone and withholding my number... .  (I wasn't)... .  

Then for the cherry on the top cheap dig she added "or I suppose it could be one of my other crazy ex's come back to haunt me like you do"... .   ... .  (projection)

waitaminute... .  it could be delusional paranoia, or triangulation (read definition)... .  anything to keep you in the drama... .  

I'm glad you are deciding not to bite  

[BleedsOrange]

Similar ploy from mine a while back. ignore it.

[BleedsOrange]

Wacky stuff though... .  thiat is a new twist i havent heard.

[bpdspell]

Wait a Minute,

Keep in mind that "she" doesn't have any power unless you hand it to her.

If you maintain your boundaries of NC you'll be fine. She can't get "you" to break NC. She can make attempts to get a response from you but you don't have to bite... .  unless you want to.  

Yes. There's a small part of you that's validated when they do this but it doesn't really amount to much. At the end of it all they aren't trustworthy and you can't believe a word that comes out of their mouth because they lack integrity. They don't have the actions to back up their words and they don't have it in them to make amends. If they could they wouldn't be disordered and you wouldn't be on this board. Meanwhile the intense damage has been done to us and it's up to us to fix it.

Yes. They play tons of subliminal mind games in a myriad of ways to see if the door is still open; but it's up to us to shut that door for good. My ex called block and even texted me one night even though a restraining order is in place. I never bit the bait. Not once. I'd rather lick a subway pole. I know he is unchanged and character disordered to the nines.

Spell

[waitaminute]

Thank you all.

I did not break NC.

[waitaminute]

... .  but I did tell my ex wife, with whom I'm trying to reconcile. The BPD said she was going to send my exwife pictures of us ( me and BPD) if the emails don't stop. My ex wife has been through hell because of my BPD rs. She said "Let her send em. So what."

[BleedsOrange]

Wait,

How badass is that? Good luck on your reconciliation!

[jdcthunder14]

Cool wait... .  

No two stories are the same but mine decided to play facebook games by posting things publically (we are not friends anymore) that I would either find interesting or upsetting. In the past that would have made me fire off an email... .  this time I didn't. Point is that yes they play games if they can and we let them.

[waitaminute]

Found out yesterday that the emails were real. But... .  They were coming from a woman who said she was just trying to be my friend and put my BPD ex in her place. I was careless and allowed my "friend" to see my BPD ex's email address. After three years of sending BPD nothing but good... .  Never name calling, rarely a harsh word, always caring and encouraging... .  Now this. There was obviously something in the email that made a connection with me. And my BPD ex caught it. So in that sense, my BPD ex was right to suspect me. But I would never.  I won't even break NC to send an apology. It would do no good. My "friend" is no longer my friend. I told her I pray for the day I forget her name. Terrible story.

Wonder how you all would have handled it.

[HarmKrakow]

Found out yesterday that the emails were real. But... .  They were coming from a woman who said she was just trying to be my friend and put my BPD ex in her place. I was careless and allowed my "friend" to see my BPD ex's email address. After three years of sending BPD nothing but good... .  Never name calling, rarely a harsh word, always caring and encouraging... .  Now this. There was obviously something in the email that made a connection with me. And my BPD ex caught it. So in that sense, my BPD ex was right to suspect me. But I would never.  I won't even break NC to send an apology. It would do no good. My "friend" is no longer my friend. I told her I pray for the day I forget her name. Terrible story.

Wonder how you all would have handled it.

Probably would haven broken NC . Its hard to be that strong.