I guess I have moved on to this board.

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

This is so difficult.  The contact comes farther and farther apart.  He contacted me on the 18th of December.  I came to his house.  We watched a movie and he told me it was our anniversary.  I didn't even know.  We started off in different countries, and we had been talking since September via phone, Facebook (how we met) and emails.  He came home to on this date and we got to see each other for the first time.  We had such a great time on the 18th.  Laughing all day.  I bought him a gift.  He is a writer and has written an award winning book.  His gift was a monogramed pen.  A beautiful one.  I know he loved it.  He kept picking it up throughout the day.  He asked me if I had wrapped the gift because it was so perfect?  "Yes" I said.  He kept touching me as if I were not real.  He never stopped smiling.  We talked and laughed, made love and I went home in the early evening.  He text me that he had a great time.  I text back that I always had a great time with him.  The next day he text that he would be disposed over the holidays and that perhaps we could go to lunch or a movie after the 4th of January, but have a merry Christmas and happy NY in advance.  Again he thanked me for the pen and said he was going to try to write again and something worth of such a beautiful gift.  The control again.  I didn't respond.  I have not heard from him since.  I was going to be strong and not respond.  I don't have to be strong in that way, it appears he has dumped me on my head.  Why?  Why do I have to find someone like this to fall in love with?  I have been in pain since I walked out the door for what appears to be the last time.  How does someone do this to someone?  He always kept his distance and said he hadn't spent the night with someone in years when I had suggested we do so, some months past.  I need some advise.  How do I move on from here?  How do I pick myself up and move on, when my heart is on the floor?

[mssomebodynice]

This is so difficult.  The contact comes farther and farther apart.  He contacted me on the 18th of December.  I came to his house.  We watched a movie and he told me it was our anniversary.  I didn't even know.  We started off in different countries, and we had been talking since September via phone, Facebook (how we met) and emails.  He came home to on this date and we got to see each other for the first time.  We had such a great time on the 18th.  Laughing all day.  I bought him a gift.  He is a writer and has written an award winning book.  His gift was a monogramed pen.  A beautiful one.  I know he loved it.  He kept picking it up throughout the day.  He asked me if I had wrapped the gift because it was so perfect?  "Yes" I said.  He kept touching me as if I were not real.  He never stopped smiling.  We talked and laughed, made love and I went home in the early evening.  He text me that he had a great time.  I text back that I always had a great time with him.  The next day he text that he would be disposed over the holidays and that perhaps we could go to lunch or a movie after the 4th of January, but have a merry Christmas and happy NY in advance.  Again he thanked me for the pen and said he was going to try to write again and something worth of such a beautiful gift.  The control again.  I didn't respond.  I have not heard from him since.  I was going to be strong and not respond.  I don't have to be strong in that way, it appears he has dumped me on my head.  Why?  Why do I have to find someone like this to fall in love with?  I have been in pain since I walked out the door for what appears to be the last time.  How does someone do this to someone?  He always kept his distance and said he hadn't spent the night with someone in years when I had suggested we do so, some months past.  I need some advise.  How do I move on from here?  How do I pick myself up and move on, when my heart is on the floor?

[GreenMango]

It can be really shocking how things work out.  How are you doing?  You ask yourself some good questions.

[mssomebodynice]

You ask some good questions as well.  I am co-dependent but have been working on it before I met him.  So much for progress.  I have read 21 self help books and sought T.  My T said I understand it, I just have to put it into practice.  Rejection is huge for me.  Yesterday I was a mess flitting from wanting him to call, text or something, but then I knew I would begin this game all over again.  I don't want that either.  It is a Catch 22.  I try to focus on me getting well.  I understand what they do... .  and I also understand what I do.  I know I will have to face it hard and push through it.  It is the only way I am going to get well and hopefully find someone who can love me back.  I want to be out of this well, what ever it is?  I guess I would call it my 'relationship' and his 'game'.  At times, like right now, I have clarity.  At times I am brought down to a sobbing mess. I will not ever break NC.  I just hope that he will leave it that way too.  Thanks.  Thanks very much for your comment.

[GreenMango]

Doing things differently can be tough.  I found making plans and having other thongs to work on took my mind off it.  The grief is painful though for while.

How's the support around you, friends and family?