leaving the relationship

[Depression = 72% of members]

Ok so I have been reading on how you should leave the relationship. Its my understanding that it is best if they make the decision to leave. I did not do that. I abruptly left the relationship and demanded no contact. What are the potential consequences of that.

[benny2]

Ok so I have been reading on how you should leave the relationship. Its my understanding that it is best if they make the decision to leave. I did not do that. I abruptly left the relationship and demanded no contact. What are the potential consequences of that.

[Confuzzled104]

Hey there,

My advice may not be accurate as I do not have alot of information or backstory to go off of, but in my own experience I broke up with my ex 2 to 3 times and each time she came running back crying and I finally figured out I had to make her break up with me in order to be free. I am assuming that your ex is the same way and similarly they will try to regain your love unless they have a new target they are latching onto as of now. Your best advice right now is to stay No Contact.

Confuzzled104

[benny2]

He always has a new target. Lines them up before I'm even out of the picture. He tends to recycle between past relationships. No, this girl is done.

[real lady]

Hi Diane... .  *Hi.*... .  The consequences for you is that you really need to HOLD YOUR BOUNDARY and NOT go back... .  go on with your life. Heal from this and have better and healthier relationships with everyone.

The consequences for him is NOT IN YOUR CONTROL... .  he has chosen to behave, not go to counseling, etc... .  He has chosen that "there is nothing wrong with him" and there is NOTHING that a non can do to convince them of their own needs... .  as if they are not aware of them, they sometimes seem to actually DENY them.

CONSEQUENCES of leaving a BPD relationship and having NC... .  possible BLISS and JOY in your life once you move on and form healthier relationships.

If you are out of the picture... .  go paint another one. You are done with him... .  move on hon. You can do it.

[Curvy girl]

I tossed up the pros and cons of him leaving me vs me leaving him. I tried to work out wht would happen and how it would affect me.

I finally but the bullet. And just left.

I agree with real lady. Either way you're out. You're no contact. Keep it that way.

Take the energy and invest it in your own personal growth and healing. Take some personal inventory, enjoy some things you couldn't enjoy while you were in the relationship.

Don't let your ex rent space in your head anymore.

[LuckyEscapee]

It all rings true for me - out is out