5,000th post

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

So, I see from my stats that this is my 5,000th post.  I don't know if I should get a cookie for that, or if that means I should get the boot!  And... .  it's really more than 5,000 (many posts were lost during a board conversion a few years ago,) but hey... .  who's counting?

98% of my involvement at bpdfamily.com has been on the Leaving Board, so it's appropo that my 5,000th post appears here.

What I want to tell the leaving board is that after 5,000 posts, life is good (and I'm sure most of you can do it in WAY less than 5,000.)  In fact, life is better than good. I am more at peace than I have ever been.  That doesn't mean life is great all the time -- it's not --- but my reaction to regular "life" is way different than it used to be.

BPD isn't really something I think about that much anymore.  The personal horrors of all of that are in my past. My relationship with crazyx was/is still the most significant relationship (negatively/positively) of my life and it changed me, for sure.  After all the dust settled, some changes were definitely for the better, some of them... .  hmm... .  jury's still out.  

However... .  no matter what the changes are... .  at my 5,000th post, I am finally in a place of peace and if I can do it, so can everyone on this board.

So, as a veteran of this wonderful place, the best thing I can tell you is to get your eyes off of the person who you believe is causing you so much anguish and really focus on yourself. You can only change YOU!  

There is life --- a GOOD life -- after these toxic and chaotic relationships.

I remember being in the thick of BPD hell and thinking "oh... .  how will I EVER live without him?"  Now I think... .  "why did I ever consider living WITH him?"  

You will get beyond it all.  Really... .  you WILL!

I hope this encourages even ONE person!

turtle

[turtle]

So, I see from my stats that this is my 5,000th post.  I don't know if I should get a cookie for that, or if that means I should get the boot!  And... .  it's really more than 5,000 (many posts were lost during a board conversion a few years ago,) but hey... .  who's counting?

98% of my involvement at bpdfamily.com has been on the Leaving Board, so it's appropo that my 5,000th post appears here.

What I want to tell the leaving board is that after 5,000 posts, life is good (and I'm sure most of you can do it in WAY less than 5,000.)  In fact, life is better than good. I am more at peace than I have ever been.  That doesn't mean life is great all the time -- it's not --- but my reaction to regular "life" is way different than it used to be.

BPD isn't really something I think about that much anymore.  The personal horrors of all of that are in my past. My relationship with crazyx was/is still the most significant relationship (negatively/positively) of my life and it changed me, for sure.  After all the dust settled, some changes were definitely for the better, some of them... .  hmm... .  jury's still out.  

However... .  no matter what the changes are... .  at my 5,000th post, I am finally in a place of peace and if I can do it, so can everyone on this board.

So, as a veteran of this wonderful place, the best thing I can tell you is to get your eyes off of the person who you believe is causing you so much anguish and really focus on yourself. You can only change YOU!  

There is life --- a GOOD life -- after these toxic and chaotic relationships.

I remember being in the thick of BPD hell and thinking "oh... .  how will I EVER live without him?"  Now I think... .  "why did I ever consider living WITH him?"  

You will get beyond it all.  Really... .  you WILL!

I hope this encourages even ONE person!

turtle

[Newton]

Congratulations Turtle    That is a real acheivement!

Your posts have helped me, and I'm sure others significantly.

Thank you for your insight and contributions, long may they continue. 

[chuckstrong]

Happy 5,000 Turtle!

Congratulations!... .  I hope someday I can come back here and report

I've moved on to a happy life after the torment that my uBPDxgf has put me thru. 


Good for you!

Chuck

[Tausk]

Hey Turtle:

thanks for the post and the support.  And thanks for the inspiration.  Your growth helps me to find faith that I can do it as well.  

Only about 4,842 more posts to go for me... .  Oh, 4,841 now.  See, there's progress right there  

SP

[DreamGirl]

Look at you.  

So, as a veteran of this wonderful place, the best thing I can tell you is to get your eyes off of the person who you believe is causing you so much anguish and really focus on yourself. You can only change YOU!  

This is indeed the best advice ever.



~DreamGirl

Ps. Where's the cake shaped like a turtle?

[turtle]

 

Only about 4,842 more posts to go for me... .  Oh, 4,841 now.  See, there's progress right there  

SP... .  LOL!

It's not gonna take you 5,000 posts!  You're much further along than I was at only 159 posts! 

Ps. Where's the cake shaped like a turtle?

Cake?  I don't care what it's shaped like... .  I'm IN!

I hope someday I can come back here and report

I've moved on to a happy life after the torment that my uBPDxgf has put me thru. 

You WILL!

Thank you for your insight and contributions, long may they continue. 

Well, thank you, Newton... .  you're pretty darn insightful yourself!  Keep it up!

[myself]

I hope this encourages even ONE person!

You've probably inspired at least one person, if not hundreds, with every post, myself included, so that's been well taken care of. Thank You, for sharing all you have, and best wishes as you continue with all the things in life that are better for you now. Peace!

[turtle]

@myself ----- 

[maria1]

There is life --- a GOOD life -- after these toxic and chaotic relationships.

I remember being in the thick of BPD hell and thinking "oh... .  how will I EVER live without him?"  Now I think... .  "why did I ever consider living WITH him?"

Nicely put Turtle- where we all want to be. You are an inspiration- I was about to write Many Happy Returns re the 5000 posts but returns aren't quite fitting on here somehow.

Congratulations... and thank you x

[turtle]

I was about to write Many Happy Returns re the 5000 posts but returns aren't quite fitting on here somehow.

Congratulations... and thank you x

.  You are right.  The word "returns" has a negative connotation here!  There will be no "returns" for me into BPD land.

You're a bright light Maria1!

[waitaminute]

I am thinking about the story of the tortoise and the hare

[turtle]

I am thinking about the story of the tortoise and the hare

Yep!  This tortoise is winning the race at the slowest rate of speed... .  EVER.

[nolisan]

Thanks for your 5000th post - your story is inspirational.

I HAVE come to believe (setting an intention) that my one year r/s with a BPD will ultimately make me a better person - still have some work to get there but I am on my way.

Thanks you BPD

[mssomebodynice]

I have noted to myself on many occations that you are someone to listen to.  You are a vet!  I am so happy for you and envious.  You have posted many things that I have recalled over and over in my stuggling times.  Thanks so much.  Thanks for coming back and teaching so many.  There are so many you have touched.  The people on these boards are near saints.  It is truly amazing to me how many worthwhile individuals who are so full of love and understanding are tossed aside.  This is a dreadful illness.  I don't know how all these BPD's find such amazing people, but I sure would like to gain that insight!  You have personally helped me.  Thanks.  I am again, so happy for you!

[Surnia]

5000 posts! Wow. So many and so many good advices.


Thank you very much, turtle.

I love your avatar.

[LuckyEscapee]

Awesomely inspirational Turtle.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[turtle]

I HAVE come to believe (setting an intention) that my one year r/s with a BPD will ultimately make me a better person - still have some work to get there but I am on my way.

Good for you for setting an intention.  That is a very powerful tool!  And yes... .  what you learn about yourself as a result of spending that one year in a BPD relationship WILL make you a better person!

I am so happy for you and envious. 

mssomebodynice -- you would not have been envious of me when I first arrived here.  I was a wreck!  But... .  I just kept going.  Somedays felt like I was going in the complete wrong direction, and I was certain there would never be a peaceful future for me.  But... .  I just kept at it!  One day, you WILL be in the place I am today... .  you just have to keep at it!

5000 posts! Wow. So many and so many good advices.


Thank you very much, turtle.

I love your avatar.

Thanks Surnia!  That sparkly turtle is finally a reflection of how I truly see myself!  Vibrant, alive, hopeful, and most importantly... .  peaceful!

Awesomely inspirational Turtle.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Welcome, welcome, welcome!   

[benny2]

Wow, good for you! I also hope that I can someday say the same. Its been 17 years that I have had this man in and out of my life. I think I will always have a place for him in my heart no matter what, but hopefully, the sooner the better, I can put things in their proper perspective.

I have to say this has really helped me here, as I can see that the things I experienced are far more critical than I realized at the time. It is a serious mental illness and there is no hope for any future with him. Especially seeing as he refuses to get help. I always left a door open for him to return back into my life. This is the first time I have completely shut the door and locked it. Now I just have to throw away the key.

Thumbs up for you Turtle and I hope I can say the same someday.

[Phoenix.Rising]

Turtle,  Thank you for a ray of hope shining through the darkness.

[turtle]

I always left a door open for him to return back into my life. This is the first time I have completely shut the door and locked it. Now I just have to throw away the key.

Good for you, diane22121! 

Turtle,  Thank you for a ray of hope shining through the darkness.

Oh... .  I'm so glad you see this as a ray of hope.  There IS hope!

turtle