just stay the hell away

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

So today I finally got to see psychologist ... .  and she said without a doubt I was with a borderline.

Tonight my mate had been in contact with my ex.    She thought it was me.   It wasn't.  But he got all the same abuse and vitriol that would have been directed at me.   

Can't admit the cheating.   Can't admit anything.   

Just stay away from them.  I feel about as low as is possible but getting away from their lies, cheating, manipulation and absolute refusal to self analyse on any level has to mean more than the illusion that was life with them.

[really]

So today I finally got to see psychologist ... .  and she said without a doubt I was with a borderline.

Tonight my mate had been in contact with my ex.    She thought it was me.   It wasn't.  But he got all the same abuse and vitriol that would have been directed at me.   

Can't admit the cheating.   Can't admit anything.   

Just stay away from them.  I feel about as low as is possible but getting away from their lies, cheating, manipulation and absolute refusal to self analyse on any level has to mean more than the illusion that was life with them.

[turtle]

I feel about as low as is possible but getting away from their lies, cheating, manipulation and absolute refusal to self analyse on any level has to mean more than the illusion that was life with them.

Geting away from all of the chaos DOES mean more than the illusion!  It takes time, but one day (not today,) you will know  this as a fact.  Just like you said... .  stay away from her.  The longer you do, the better off you'll be.

I'm sorry your mate had to hear all of her BS, but in a way, aren't you grateful for that? Sometimes, I think our friends think it's not as bad as we say it is.

And how in the world did she mistake your friend for you?  Even that is kind of insulting!

turtle

[really]

She went off at him in his email, saying how horrid he was... .  his email was fair.    She had said in a previous email how horrid I was and how I had threated self harm (nonsense).  I had said in an email last year that I felt like giving up and he reminded her how I had told him that she had self harmed and taken an overdose herself.    Big mistake! 

Anyway what it comes down to is that she is incapable of any self analysis.  Her new guy and her are in the wonders of a honeymoon period, extended by her making me out to be some psycho.

As the psychologist said to me today... .  i bet there is a long list of broken hearts in her life.   Yes, absolutely is.   

BPD is just the most sickening, twisted mind blowing thing i have ever experienced.

Any normal women out there?   I hope so!

[Changed4safety]

I'm working on normal!   

That's what the gift of all of this has been for me.  I see a pattern of getting involved with men who need "rescuing" or who are "dangerous but not with you, not ever with you"    and so on.  I've been diagnosed as co-dependent and I believe that.  I have looked deeper and with fresh eyes at my FOO.  For the first time EVER I don't want a guy to come and save me as I save him.  I am ingraining  into me so I know to catch them early.  I am defining where my boundaries are and when I am ready to date again they will be firmly in place.  When I despair and think I'll never find a normal guy who also arouses love in me, I look at the examples around me with my friends.  I'll find it again, when I am up to it, and I will be a properly-prepared partner.  I believe we can all be this!