Finding me - you always have so many good comments. I too can't tell you how often my spouse would disappear to the bedroom - throughout the years she would see a theropist for 1-2 months then quit (thinking she had conquered her demons from her past) - looking back I know we just put a bandaid on to stop the external bleeding - but she never stopped the internal bleeding - so when the bandaid fell off or wore out she had to get another quick patch - over and over probably 5 times in 19 years.
Individual, extensive therapy for the both of us, would have been the only real chance, we would, have had. Even then, I can see now, the chances of this working was slim to none. With the 2 bad experiences I had with marriage counseling, I was gun shy of therapists (although I now see, how the first one was really trying hard to show me, whom she was) and going to figure this out between the both of us. I eventually stumbled upon, the 2 words that started this journey for me. Abandonment and Intimacy. I knew this was it, and brought this to the ex. We started to converse, on the deepest level, we ever had. One day soon following, I woke up one morning, with her on the far corner of our bed, obviously scared, with that expression (the removal of the masks) and telling me how I have changed. Within a few days of this, the temporary psychosis surfaced,( i witnessed this 4-5 times, in the r/s) and I was the trigger... .
