How involved are you with your BPD ex?

[momtara]

Just wondering, especially if you have young kids together.

[trevjim]

Split up 3 months ago, she got with current partner a day after, currently 2 months low contact and 3 weeks full N/C.

She has a child from a relationship previous to ours, the dad is in jail for abusing her and the child. I first met him on his 1st birthday, when we split he was 3 and a half and calling me daddy and i saw him as my son. She however split me black and now wants the new guy to be the childs dad.

[momtara]

Hmmm.  My husband doesn't want to let go, but we are getting divorced.  He'll have some visitation.  I'm trying to figure out whether we'll really be able to raise kids together as co-parents, or if he'll see any friendliness on my part as a sign that I'll get back together with him.  The truth is, I love him and I want to still do some things with him when he has the kids, but I've heard that it sends mixed signals.

[mamachelle]

momtara

In my case, BPDexH sent weird mixed signals all the time with his comments and body language. Still does whenever I am near him. I can not physically be in the same space as him and feel comfortable. A lot will depend on your individual experience.

Whenever my NonH and his exBPDw are in the same room, again, the energy level kind of goes to a palpable feeling of extreme tension, My nonH will get backaches, shoulder twinges, headaches and stomach aches after a prolonged visit like Halloween trick or treating. I began to see the pattern. His whole body tenses.

I would wait and see how much you can handle when that time comes. Dealing with it in the abstract is hard. Each situation is different.