How do you best talk to your kids that mommy is 'not functioning right'?

[slimmiller]

Hope this topic does not come accross as derogatory. Thats not actually my intent but rather how do I relate my understanding to my children that mommy is malfunctioning so to speak. She clearly not only has all the traits as most do but I am seeing more and more the blank stares.

My kids as stepson 13, S11, D8, D6. Our split is almost final and we have agreed on a nesting arraingement which so far works well as she is gone most of the time. She is too busy with her sexual laisons to really notice the kids above and beyond passing them here and there. I call it good if she shows up in the morning to put them on the bus for me. I leave for work about 3 hours before the kids are up.

Its certainly not at all conventional and I understand that. I have no desire to rock the boat and our arrangement. If I did it would be like stepping on a snake. As long as there is no attempt on me pushing her away from the kids she pretty much ignores us and both the kids and I now have a new normal.


That being said, I want to also slowly let the kids in on the fact and address it as they are starting to ask questions more and more as to where is mommy. S6 especiallly makes comments like, 'I dont like when mommy is gone'

Any ideas, input or experience?

Thank You

[hell0kitty]

We picked up the book An Umbrella for Alex and have been reading it with our 6 year old.  It has all of these pauses that ask questions.  It has helped with getting her to open up about dealing with her BPD mom.

[slimmiller]

Thank You! I looked it up online and am ordering it.


I am planning on buying all the revelant books on BPD that have helped me with this craziness and make sure each of my children get one when they become of age. Maybe I am being a little out there for doing that but its kind of like a Will to me. Even if I should be gone by then for some reason, i want my children to know what I know and also the truth.