Having a really bad few days

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So 3 months out, 1 Month full N/C.

I thought it was meant to be getting easier.

I just seem to be missing her each day, I know the relationship wasnt great, but i seem to remember being happier back then.

Im doing everything i can to move on, N/C, keeping busy, being outgoing, keeping fit.

All my mind seems to think about is about her with her new boyfriend, how stupidly hot she was and how i will never get with anyone as hot as that again, the stupidly crazy hot sex, all the places we went together, her little boy who i miss dearly.

I know thats all the good times, ive accepted we are over, ive made the choice to move on, i dont want her back.

Why am i still feeling like this?

[trevjim]

So 3 months out, 1 Month full N/C.

I thought it was meant to be getting easier.

I just seem to be missing her each day, I know the relationship wasnt great, but i seem to remember being happier back then.

Im doing everything i can to move on, N/C, keeping busy, being outgoing, keeping fit.

All my mind seems to think about is about her with her new boyfriend, how stupidly hot she was and how i will never get with anyone as hot as that again, the stupidly crazy hot sex, all the places we went together, her little boy who i miss dearly.

I know thats all the good times, ive accepted we are over, ive made the choice to move on, i dont want her back.

Why am i still feeling like this?

[just me.]

I know how you feel.

3 months out with 1 month full N/C is still really not very much time at all.  It's perfectly normal to be in a lot of pain right now.  You shouldn't be frustrated with yourself for not moving on quicker... .  you're still right smack in the middle of the painful detachment process.

It just sure is awfully tough, though, isn't it?

Your feelings will continue to evolve with time.  Not in a straight smooth shot to "being okay", necessarily... .  but your feelings will continue to evolve.  What you are feeling right now, you won't feel forever.

[draft]

trev,

It really is disturbing that it's not a straight line progression, rather goes back and forth. Suddenly everything was "so great". It's such a irregular progress that it feels hardly noticeable.

But there is progress. Slow... but there is.

Take care of yourself.

[HarmKrakow]

Hi Trev! Your not alone, i'm sitting here also with the same similar thoughts and sometimes wonder, 1 day extra of NC and suddenly that extra day seems worse than the day before? What the heck?

... well

Unfortunately the progress we make on these occasions is simply this

1 step forward

2 steps backwards

3 steps forward

4 steps backwards

5 steps forward

6 steps backwards

7 steps forward

8 steps backwards

The essence here is that the beginning is relatively easy, but the 'mid term' is by far the hardest ... and considering in the process during our r/s we acknowledged that we let our boundaries slip, we are a lot harder/tougher on ourselves.