Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
January 20, 2021, 01:39:23 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Harri, Once Removed
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, I Am Redeemed, Mutt, Turkish
  Help!   Groups   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
84
Pages: 1 [2] 3  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Another lonely friday, saturday and sunday night coming...  (Read 8914 times)
MakeItHappen
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 116


« Reply #30 on: February 23, 2013, 03:50:31 PM »

Excerpt
... since this morning when i read it i slipped into a worse modus. I've had enough of everything, especially of myself

Sorry you are feeling this way. Sorry you got that mean communication. It isn't you. Believe me it isn't you!  This forum is here for you. 

IT IS NOT YOU! Do something for yourself today/tonight that always puts a smile on your face! IT IS NOT YOU!

Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
Logged

HarmKrakow
*******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1226


« Reply #31 on: February 23, 2013, 04:49:49 PM »

Excerpt
... since this morning when i read it i slipped into a worse modus. I've had enough of everything, especially of myself

Sorry you are feeling this way. Sorry you got that mean communication. It isn't you. Believe me it isn't you!  This forum is here for you. 

Thanks boys for cheering me up Smiling (click to insert in post) Well appreciated. I mean it!

And yeah, first thing that started was to blame myself, which was stupid, agreed.
Logged
beachgirl009
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 143


« Reply #32 on: February 23, 2013, 05:17:25 PM »

I wanted to throw my hat into the newly single mix and I also don't know what to do with myself during my free time.  Before I met my ex-gf, all of my close friends were single and lived nearby, so going out and hanging out with them wasn't a problem.  After 7+ years with my ex-gf, almost everyone is now in a long-term relationship or married but me, and I don't exactly want to be anyone's third wheel, so it's harder for me to hang out with them.  I also used to have a lot of single female friends that I liked to hang out with one-on-one platonically, but now they're all in long-term relationships as well.  I'm used to my ex-gf filling our weekends to the gills with activities, and now it's just me.  I'm ok with being alone, but I think that I need to figure out a way to meet new people to hang out with just to be social again.

Same here. Prior to the ex I had a large network of single peeps I could go do things with. Now I'm the only single one in that group and I don't want to be a third wheel so I have watched a lot of redbox movies but I'm ready to get out and meet some more single people again. Easier said than done.
Logged
LuckyEscapee
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 187


« Reply #33 on: February 23, 2013, 07:23:37 PM »

Excerpt
Thanks boys for cheering me up  Well appreciated. I mean it!

And yeah, first thing that started was to blame myself, which was stupid, agreed.

Ahem boys and girls  Us blaming ourselves is only natural, it is our self-reflection and self-awareness reaction. This is a usually positive attribute, except when dealing with BPD. It is not about us, it is about them. If only they could genuinely self reflect, instead of just reflecting and then deflecting others. They need the help, we need to heal.
Logged
mango_flower
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 689


« Reply #34 on: February 23, 2013, 07:59:17 PM »

I know this feeling... .  

It's like, even though they had all the drama going on half the time, and you wished for a quiet life, you always remember the good things.

The cuddles in bed, the hanging out just round the house, the going out for breakfast on a Saturday morning, the going for a random drive somewhere, taking trips to the zoo... .  

All the stuff that just isn't any fun alone.

And that's it - the loneliness.

I think this isn't a reaction to losing a BPD ex but just a normal reaction to losing a partner... .  

The crazy thing, I was ALWAYS alone until I met her... .  was only with her just under a year - and yet now, the silence is deafening... .  I hate it!

My only suggestion is that every time you find something you want to do, e.g a book that takes your fancy, or a film you want to watch, write them all down on a list.  And when you feel alone and bored, get that list out and go do the stuff on it.

I'm sorry dude - it REALLY does suck. xxx
Logged

charred
*******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1206



« Reply #35 on: February 24, 2013, 06:57:45 AM »

Lot of things you could do to get back meeting people. There is meetup.com, it is where anyone can put together various activities with meetings, so if you like movies, you might find a group of people going to movies, or sports events, or hiking... .  whatever people in your area that want to meet other people come up with. You can even start a group on it, its free... .  in any large city there should be something happening... .  head for what sounds fun to you... for you, not with the intention of meeting the next gf, but getting friends back, and try a few before giving up, suspect you will enjoy it.
Logged
theend

Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 3



« Reply #36 on: February 24, 2013, 10:43:59 AM »

It feels like you are being swallowed up by a black hole when you are alone. I had to find the things that comfort me and take care of myself. It takes time to feel like being by yourself is ok. I talk to friends and my mom for support. I do have kids and find comfort in them. I have moments when it hits me that im not with my BPD ex. The turmoil he put me thru, I just thank God im out of the relationship. You are not alone out there. Just be kind to yourself cause they certainly were not kind or are thinking of your pain.
Logged
charred
*******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1206



« Reply #37 on: February 24, 2013, 11:33:37 AM »

The quiet is hard to take. I was freaking out, and my T had me read "A New Earth" by Eckert Tolle... to learn the mindfulness stuff. Further reading on mindfulness led me to try what they suggested. Get in the now and mindful and explore the feelings and live them, not avoid or try to push them out of mind. My stress level fell off to nothing within about a week and it took about a month before I was really comfortable being alone with it quiet... well mostly quiet... I keep a radio or TV on just for the background sounds of people.

I think some of it may be codependency traits... I have always had a lot going on around me, was in school, had friends and my sister's friends or parents around, then had work activities and girlfriends and their social stuff... when I broke it off with my exBPDgf and didn't just jump to someone else (on purpose actually)... .  it in many ways is the first time as an adult I have spent much time alone... and it is taking a bit of work to get comfortable being in my own skin. I am realizing that the activity was always from someone or something else... not from me and my direct doing... I don't seek out people... they happened to be involved with the activities or other people in my life. Suspect that others run in to same thing... your pwBPD isolates you, keeps so much contact that you are irritated... .  but you also come to expect and need it... then when it stops and the silence is all about you... .  it isn't golden, its filled with despair... .  amplifying your pain.  Mindfulness helped me put it in perspective... .  having said that... I am probably jumping in my car and heading down to visit relatives for a few days,  as I have been around me longer than I can take.
Logged
Surnia
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3901



« Reply #38 on: February 25, 2013, 03:06:01 PM »

Hi harmkrakow

how was your last weekend? Are you okay?
Logged

“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
HarmKrakow
*******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1226


« Reply #39 on: February 25, 2013, 05:38:44 PM »

Hi harmkrakow

how was your last weekend? Are you okay?

My last weekend was not very good. My girl with BPD said last sunday she had enough, I got painted black again however she pointed out all the good things that happened and she mentioned she had a good time, I think about it a little different atm. I couldn't sleep, not Friday nor Saturday nor Sunday night and had a bit of alcohol to make me tipsy to fall asleep. And ofcourse, liters of crying. Liters, easily.

My biggest pain atm? The loneliness and the fact that, although im trying to restart life, I work 60h a week, but I notice that the hard work is not helping to detach, far from. I cried today in the office of the director of the floor  :'(. The guy was like   and ofcourse the lack of empathy and sheer sense of indifference of the girl with BPD is also very painful.

I'm currently located in a little hotel room so I can easily go to work 5 days a week and on Friday I can go back to my own place roughly 2.5h from work. It's the sheer loneliness and the fact that you can't talk to friends (as most are related to her) about  any of this.

You know the problem is? You just feel like your not worth it anymore. Worth to do something in life, as if she didn't want your help, although all you did was to help, you feel like you are not good enough for this world. So why continue?
Logged
LuckyEscapee
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 187


« Reply #40 on: February 25, 2013, 05:51:19 PM »

Excerpt
So why continue?

Because we care about you, and know it is not you.

We understand the highs the lows, and know it is not you.

Because it will get better, it absolutely will HarmKrakow

Logged
Hutsepotmetworst
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 65



« Reply #41 on: February 26, 2013, 02:37:46 AM »

You know the problem is? You just feel like your not worth it anymore. Worth to do something in life, as if she didn't want your help, although all you did was to help, you feel like you are not good enough for this world. So why continue?

Hey Harm,

You are more than good enough for this world. We all have a good heart, you know. Maybe even too good for our own sake... .  You were trying to help her, to give her a good life.

And you did, although it was just temporarily, because the disorder doesn't like to be happy for a long time... .  Don't put the blame on yourself, that's not the truth.

I have to admit I'm struggling myself with the same feelings and thoughts. But I know that I did all I could for her, loved her (and still love her), but I did keep some boundaries and she could not handle that. I was not prepared to give away my whole life for her, still I didn't know about BPD back then and I'm wondering what it would be like if I had known.

It's time to pick yourself up, do the things you like, search a T if you want to discuss all of your feelings.

You are worth it en you deserve a happy life, but it's up to you !
Logged
Surnia
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3901



« Reply #42 on: February 26, 2013, 07:15:23 AM »

So sorry to hear from your not so good weekend! 

I agree with you, detaching only by work is often not enough. Is there anything you can do during the week evenings? Little sport? CoDA-meetings?

And you need something for the weekends too. Little anchors back to life... .  
Logged

“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
Rose Tiger
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 2075



« Reply #43 on: February 26, 2013, 07:48:39 AM »

That is quite the workload, Ham.  Is there anyway you can take a few days off?  Then perhaps a road trip.  Drive somewhere a day away, you are processing your thoughts but still seeing new scenery.  Like a three day of healing.  If not, schedule your time to work through stuff, an hour a night to stare at the wall, lie on the bed and get some of that toxic out.  Crying is such a blessing, I always feel better afterwards.  Then during the day you can tell yourself not now, that is scheduled for later this evening.  Kind of discipline yourself. I know it's hard! 
Logged
HarmKrakow
*******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1226


« Reply #44 on: February 26, 2013, 04:18:22 PM »

That is quite the workload, Ham.  Is there anyway you can take a few days off?  Then perhaps a road trip.  Drive somewhere a day away, you are processing your thoughts but still seeing new scenery.  Like a three day of healing.  If not, schedule your time to work through stuff, an hour a night to stare at the wall, lie on the bed and get some of that toxic out.  Crying is such a blessing, I always feel better afterwards.  Then during the day you can tell yourself not now, that is scheduled for later this evening.  Kind of discipline yourself. I know it's hard! 

I took that workload to 'forget about my r/s w my BPD person. It in a way helps when work gets really stressful. It doesn't when I hear an emotional sound or when I see people wait at work for their gf to go for dinner for example.

The 'going away' part, somewhere completely desolate, alone is so hard. I do it, definitely. I go to places where I also shared them with my ex gf w BPD, purely to FILL these place with NEW memories ... so I won't struggle anymore to get back there again.

And yeah, the discipline is the issue as well at the moment. I have the discipline to wake up, do my 60h job, work my ass off, but I do it to forget about the rest. Seriously Surnia, the moment I already leave my desk it already spooks in my head with that BPD exgf. And then i'm not even out of the office yet!

And then back in bed, that fudged up feeling of, wth am I all doing it for? I can do this work till im 80, earn quite a bit of money and be a robot. But what for? I want to live atleast for something. Most of my colleages are all shallow 'finance' people, money and holidays. Thats it, I would like to have a bit more 'depth' in life Smiling (click to insert in post)

And yeah, every time I feel a bit emotional, I feel tears coming on and feel this urge of, ~ it, fingers crossed and hopefully I don't wake up the next morning, I look at this board. And no, like I said before. It's not like im suicidal, it's not like im depressed, it's not like i'm looking for a way out. None of that. I don't. But I do have this feeling where I wonder what the fudge do I do it all for? What for? I don't feel any pleasure in life. And then I just hope that some points I just hope i'm dreaming or so. Or just don't wake up.

So sorry to hear from your not so good weekend! 

I agree with you, detaching only by work is often not enough. Is there anything you can do during the week evenings? Little sport? CoDA-meetings?

And you need something for the weekends too. Little anchors back to life... .  

I try to, the problem is, I live in a hotel from Monday to Friday for work and in the weekend in my place 2.5h away. I don't really know anyone there. And yeah, I know the open doors, you lonely? Go out and meet people. You hungry? Go eat! You unhappy? Do something which makes you happy. And yeah, every time on Friday morning when I still have work I feel motivation of trying to do something on the weekend. The moment work is done on Friday ... and I sit in the train towards home, I can feel that sadness taking over and the moment ... the moment I'm back in the house, where I spent time with her, where she lied in my bed, where I still have clothes of her. I go numb...

Just energy less, like not the physical and mental power to stand up out of bed, be active, and go out and cheer up. I go look in the mirror and just find myself disgusting. I seriously feel the little ache in my body which tells me, please wake up, but it's such a small fire. So small... .  and i've never had this feeling before, and it's not like utterly depressed, or that I rage or am aggressive. No ... not at all. It's just, energy less, mentally as well. You don't feel that power in your body to say, hey let's go out! It's not there. It's just NOT there ... it isn't ... and then those wonders come again, wth do we do it for?

I do go to a shrink btw, two of them. They mainly tell me that there is nothing wrong with me besides the fact I staid waay to long with my influential other w BPD. And therefore they tell me, I lossed my boundaries, my self confidence and my motivation/target for life.

Excerpt
So why continue?

Because we care about you, and know it is not you.

We understand the highs the lows, and know it is not you.

Because it will get better, it absolutely will HarmKrakow

Cheers, you have no idea how big my smile was when I read it. I'm currently in a train towards my sleeping place. Fact is, every time I feel a bit emotional I try to tend out to check this board. Why? The utter realization that i'm not the crazy one for suffering so severe from a BPD r/s. Cuz seriously sometimes you really have that feeling you are all alone and the rest is all having awesome r/s...

You know the problem is? You just feel like your not worth it anymore. Worth to do something in life, as if she didn't want your help, although all you did was to help, you feel like you are not good enough for this world. So why continue?

Hey Harm,

You are more than good enough for this world. We all have a good heart, you know. Maybe even too good for our own sake... .  You were trying to help her, to give her a good life.

And you did, although it was just temporarily, because the disorder doesn't like to be happy for a long time... .  Don't put the blame on yourself, that's not the truth.

I have to admit I'm struggling myself with the same feelings and thoughts. But I know that I did all I could for her, loved her (and still love her), but I did keep some boundaries and she could not handle that. I was not prepared to give away my whole life for her, still I didn't know about BPD back then and I'm wondering what it would be like if I had known.

It's time to pick yourself up, do the things you like, search a T if you want to discuss all of your feelings.

You are worth it en you deserve a happy life, but it's up to you !

Due to the mirroring of my ex gf w BPD, there are not a lot of things I like, as she copied all the things I liked. Meaning I don't do them anymore. The good thing of a break up in a normal r/s, i would have things to do to get myself back on track :P Now, now I need to get myself some new 'pleasures' in life. It's hard man, cuz it took me years to develop my hobbies I had last few years .

Discipline ... I normally always had it, now it seemed to have dissapeared. And not because I don't seek it, because I unfortunately just don't care
Logged
healingmyheart
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 278


« Reply #45 on: February 26, 2013, 04:35:02 PM »

Last weekend moved my boyfriend - BPD out... .  very emotional.  This is going to be the first weekend alone.  My daughter's already informed me that she's going to be busy and gone all weekend which leaves me totally alone   Not sure what to do with myself.  It's hard because what friends I have left are married and obviously they have their "family" life.  I'm one of those people who won't even go to the movies by myself or eat out alone.  I guess the dog and I will be getting to know each other a whole lot better... .  
Logged
maria1
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1989


« Reply #46 on: February 26, 2013, 06:00:46 PM »

Walk that dog Stolemysoul!

I'm into baking bread right now. In the early days I walked and I took myself to the DVD rental shop and got a film out just for me.

And I cried a lot.

Logged
mango_flower
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 689


« Reply #47 on: February 26, 2013, 06:07:14 PM »

Firstly, if you are from Krakow - I went there a few weeks ago.  Beautiful place Smiling (click to insert in post)

I could relate to so much of this post, mainly:

"It's not like im suicidal, it's not like im depressed, it's not like i'm looking for a way out. None of that. I don't. But I do have this feeling where I wonder what the fudge do I do it all for? What for? I don't feel any pleasure in life. And then I just hope that some points I just hope i'm dreaming or so. Or just don't wake up"

and

":)ue to the mirroring of my ex gf w BPD, there are not a lot of things I like, as she copied all the things I liked. Meaning I don't do them anymore. The good thing of a break up in a normal r/s, i would have things to do to get myself back on track :P Now, now I need to get myself some new 'pleasures' in life. It's hard man, cuz it took me years to develop my hobbies I had last few years"

You really are NOT alone.  And I do have faith it WILL get better.  For all of us xxx
Logged

healingmyheart
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 278


« Reply #48 on: February 26, 2013, 06:10:05 PM »

Maria,

I love to bake too... .  I make the best banana bread ever but I also like to eat my baked goods... .  not always a good thing
Logged
maria1
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1989


« Reply #49 on: February 26, 2013, 06:32:44 PM »

I know exactly what you mean! All the more incentive to walk! Seriously though I never used to like walking on my own but I love it now.
Logged
healingmyheart
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 278


« Reply #50 on: February 26, 2013, 07:03:30 PM »

Maria,

I am know widowed but when my husband was sick I started walking... .  I put in my headset and tuned the music really loud and totally tuned out the world.  I lost 20 lbs in the process of walking.  I now go to the gym and I am in the best shape ever... .  actually, I have my exBPD boyfriend to thank for that.  I love being in shape esp. for my age (50's) and it is a stress reducer for sure.
Logged
HarmKrakow
*******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1226


« Reply #51 on: February 27, 2013, 12:24:01 AM »

Firstly, if you are from Krakow - I went there a few weeks ago.  Beautiful place Smiling (click to insert in post)

I could relate to so much of this post, mainly:

"It's not like im suicidal, it's not like im depressed, it's not like i'm looking for a way out. None of that. I don't. But I do have this feeling where I wonder what the fudge do I do it all for? What for? I don't feel any pleasure in life. And then I just hope that some points I just hope i'm dreaming or so. Or just don't wake up"

and

":)ue to the mirroring of my ex gf w BPD, there are not a lot of things I like, as she copied all the things I liked. Meaning I don't do them anymore. The good thing of a break up in a normal r/s, i would have things to do to get myself back on track :P Now, now I need to get myself some new 'pleasures' in life. It's hard man, cuz it took me years to develop my hobbies I had last few years"

You really are NOT alone.  And I do have faith it WILL get better.  For all of us xxx

I'm luckily not from there, ex is. And gimme some of that 'faith'. And even that 'faith' of saying it will go better. It's not about me having the faith or not, it's just the big, 'I don't care if I have the faith or not'.

And yeah, I come here to read the familiarity of my story and exactly realize, that although we all live spread around the entire world, we share similar stories and that I am not alone in the difficulties i'm facing. That, that feeling is very therapeutic. Serious, every weekend when I feel lonely and I slip in this vicious circle of feeling more lonely, and then cry, and then just not eat and just walk around with tears around my eyes (a thing she always told me were fake ... she never believed my tears). Then I open my laptop in bed and go read bpdfamily.
Logged
Wooddragon
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: single
Posts: 142



« Reply #52 on: February 27, 2013, 06:32:43 AM »

I think the fact that we are all over the world connecting in this way is an amazing thing too - there is a lot of empathy & wisdom on these boards - something we have all lacked and craved in recent times I suspect. Charred mentioned ekhart tolle - his books have helped me as well. I have no other advice but to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. It will get better.

Logged
gettingoverit
******
Offline Offline

Posts: 755


« Reply #53 on: February 27, 2013, 03:19:46 PM »

Wow... .  I remember those days very well. Kinda like you are part of the walking dead. Sometimes I felt like the world was moving in slow motion and I was just a bystander. To make things worse I couldn't have cared less. This sense of wanting or needing isolation that you feel is not necessarily a bad thing. I like to call it self preservation. Sometimes you just need the time to be alone and lick your wounds. I can tell you that it does get better though. The feeling of being one of the walking dead does eventually lift and you enter the world of the living again. It's ok to feel down, it's ok to feel like you want to be alone. It's part of the healing process. These kinds of relationships when they end can have us second guessing everything that we do and have done. EVERYTHING. Sometimes it's a great opportunity to change the things we didn't have the courage or energy to change. This will not last forever. I stayed a memeber of the walking dead for about 1-2 months and then ever so slowly the blood started rushing back into my body and I started to breath again. You just need to exhale. Give it time.
Logged
LuckyEscapee
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 187


« Reply #54 on: February 27, 2013, 03:33:43 PM »

Ok Harm... .  

... .  weekend is fast approaching.

What do you plan to do this weekend? Yes you... .  it can be all about you for a change Smiling (click to insert in post) do you feel like doing anything in particular, or just some good ol' rest and recuperation?

Make your weekend home not a place of BPD memories, but remake it your haven away from work, your sanctuary.

Many of us gave been in your exact same spot, and we know too that things do get better with time and healing, so just take one weekend at a time 




Logged
Surnia
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3901



« Reply #55 on: February 28, 2013, 12:42:02 AM »

I agree with LuckyEscapee!

What about some changes in your appartement? Removing all the things from her in the cellar?

Give it a try! 
Logged

“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
ohmygosh
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 67



« Reply #56 on: February 28, 2013, 02:14:09 AM »

Isn't it all so sad (& I'm the same) -  Finally got back in the workforce this week but it's like you live your weekends for work.  I used to work for my weekends I fully understand where your all coming from.  It's bad when work is your highlight of the week.
Logged
Rose Tiger
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 2075



« Reply #57 on: February 28, 2013, 07:58:33 AM »

It's bad when work is your highlight of the week.

I can relate to this so well!  I do appreciate being able to sleep in on the weekends.  That's my favorite part now.  Reading, too.  A couple weekends ago I spent a couple hours in Hobby Lobby.  I spent about 30 minutes looking at the stuff they make to put into doll houses.  Me and this random 7 year old girl were oohing and aaahing over the teeny furniture, little lamps, and accessories.  If any of you Dads have a little girl, check into doing this hobby with her.

Sorry for the tangent.  Smiling (click to insert in post)
Logged
HarmKrakow
*******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1226


« Reply #58 on: February 28, 2013, 11:39:43 AM »

Isn't it all so sad (& I'm the same) -  Finally got back in the workforce this week but it's like you live your weekends for work.  I used to work for my weekends I fully understand where your all coming from.  It's bad when work is your highlight of the week.

I agree, I work in investment banking and the hours are madness. However the hit in your face is worse when you enter a lonely home. Living for work is no detachment and if not taken care off for years im sure one day you will burn into a huge midlife... Huuuuge.

And to be frankly honest, I don't even know what I work for Smiling (click to insert in post) (As I cry every 2/3 hours ... Due to the high pressure and wondering what is it all good for.)
Logged
HarmKrakow
*******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1226


« Reply #59 on: February 28, 2013, 11:53:35 AM »

I agree with LuckyEscapee!

What about some changes in your appartement? Removing all the things from her in the cellar?

Give it a try! 

I think this is indeed a good start. Cellar ...

And yeah the weekend is approaching fast. Really fast… I don't have a lot of plans yet. Staid at a good friends place yesterday, it was all crying from there... The smallest thing can make me burst into tears. Self dignity and self confidence is so little. I don't have enough energy and sharpness to focus long enough on something.

And telling yourself, fight, fight, fight, fight! Works, but more like a placebo, because you quickly wonder, wth should I fight for? I guess to be truly genuine happy again? The problem is, the last time i could genuinly say i was happy feels like it was yeaaars ago and more important, it feels out of reach.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2021?

Pages: 1 [2] 3  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2020 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
40days_in_desert
Ahquei3s
alphabeta
Amethyste
Angie59
ArtistGuy70
AskingWhy
assumezero
At Bay
Avanzando
Baglady
Beneck
bigredneck
Bittlecat
Boll Weevil
calmboom
Cat Familiar
Chosen
Dnmtnbkr
drained1996
Eggshellsbroken
FaintTheGoat
FaithHopeLove
FindingMe2011
Forgiveness
freespirit
GaGrl
ggGreg
Gift to Myself
gotbushels
Harri
hopeandchoices
I Am Redeemed
Imatter33
Jazzy48
jdc
jones54
Jonthan
Katrinalove
Kwamina
l8kgrl
LLgreen
Longterm
lorymac
lovenature
loyalwife
lucidone
Manifest32f
MariannaR
Meridius
Methuen
mgirl
Minttea
Mommydoc
Mutt
narcdaughter2
needPeace
NorseWoman
Notgoneyet
oceanheart
oftentimes
Omega1
once removed
Only Human
otherlife
palynne
PeacefulMom
Pedro
pest947
podsnapG
ProudDad12
pursuingJoy
Radcliff
Raul
Recycle
Resiliant
Rev
Rosheger
Sad4Her
SamwizeGamgee
Sandalwood
SBBayArea
SCM
SerendipityChild
SES
Silverhope
Skip
songbirdtwo
StillStuck
Swimmy55
Teno
townhouse
truthbeknown
turtleengine501
Ventak
vinnie77
Violet00
wavewatcher
wendydarling
WhatJustHappened?
Whichwayisup
whirlpoollife
Wicker Man
WindofChange
worn_out
WTL
zachira
zaqsert

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!