So pleased I cam across this forum, a place to share your thoughts and actions with people who have been there and undertsand!
Ok so I had a therapy session, Ive never engaged in one before always believing I was strong enough to get through anything, so in a way it was like admiting defeat in a sense, but I feel it really helped and Im to see her again next week.
So on the back of this I was honest with my now ex, why I felt I needed to tell him my new found thought path I dont know yet, but maybe I just wanted him to know the mask has slipped and I am completley aware of the situation and parts we have played. Maybe another part of me wanted him to admit it was the truth and say he would get a help, but I know deep down this was never going to happen.
I know I will be painted even blacker for the things Ive said to him but you cant loose what is already gone!
So I told him this would be my last contact and that I respected he needed to shut me out to help himself, I also explained I was fully aware of the situation and that it hurt but I had accpeted it for what it was.
I explained Id realised there was rescuer in me and that is why I stayed and I hoped at some point he would get help in order to experience a real relationship.
Finally I apologised if he found my honesty uncomfortable but I was no longer going to be an enabler as it had not helped either of us.
I recieved no reply, he is probably looking at the message and thinking Im crazy or just maybe he is silently raging knowing that I know and have learned more than he ever thought.
Has anyone else ever done something similar and what was the outcome for all concerned?