Following my Path

[Mind]

I've known for a very long time that I would have to learn to let go of my UBPDH. It's official.  As difficult as the past week has been, I know I'll be in a much safer, healthier place in the future. I have a long road ahead of me, but somewhere inside of me I truly feel that I will be okay.   

I tried. I've read all of the tools, I've had heart to heart talks with him, I've waited, I've given chances, I've forgiven, I've ignored, I've researched, I've lived through so much mistreatment and abandonment. I no longer wish to live his illness 24/7 anymore. 

The marriage is now over. The toughest part was that day, that conversation of what could have been. I told him that I am a trigger for his anger.  He admitted to and agreed.   He told me that I am right, I am completely a trigger for his anger and he doesn't know why.    I will forget those words.  That was my confirmation that he truly is not mentally well.  There is no more talking about my emotions, my feelings or what I want in life. He doesn't deserve me, my time, my happiness. 

Step by step, I'm moving forward and slowly leaving him behind... .   

[blecker]

A decision is the universal key to unlock all problems.

Enjoy all that it affords you.

[gina louise]

Sparkle13,

I am sorry you had to make that tough decision. 

I know how difficult and complicated this is. It's such a painful admission. To finally call a halt to the struggle that was taking so much out of you.

It gets better- you will feel better, you will recover slowly, surely.

Take care of your needs-ALL of them, first and foremost.

GL