Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
April 28, 2024, 07:28:37 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
duality
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: duality (Read 392 times)
afterdeath
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: single...4 months post bpdex
Posts: 249
duality
«
on:
March 02, 2013, 08:14:18 AM »
I feel like two different people living separate lives.
One version is stuck in silent hill hell version the other is doing just fine.
At first I just used to think oh if she were here now this is how my happy life would be continued, and then I snap back to reality.
The break up never seemed real to me, like a dream, or nightmare I'm still waiting to wake up from.
Some days I'm in this twisted hell of a world where everything is horrible, other days the real me will reemerge to quickly burn out and fall back to the underworld.
It's like she just went on vacation and she will be back to rescue me from the monsters.
I can clearly sit here now and see two separate worlds and lives: the fantasy vs the reality.
Reality is a hard pill to swallow. I must've swallowed the red pill and woke up from the matrix.
I know I've said things like surely this is not my world. The fantasy is forever ruined.
I think there is a movie called momento that is something like living backwards vs forwards.
Also the butterfly effect is kind of similar.
Does anyone else experience this duality, and how do you deal with it?
Logged
trevjim
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 368
Re: duality
«
Reply #1 on:
March 02, 2013, 08:16:37 AM »
I sometimes feel like the relationship was a dream. The way she entered my life so quickly, and left it just as quick.
Logged
Discarded26
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 179
Re: duality
«
Reply #2 on:
March 02, 2013, 08:54:05 AM »
I wish there was a pill for, you remember everything. But the pain and the broken heart/heart ache just goes
Still waiting for my last push.
Logged
Cumulus
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 414
Re: duality
«
Reply #3 on:
March 02, 2013, 09:52:22 AM »
Hi afterdeath. You know some people believe that after death is eternal life. Hang in there.
A few months after I separated from xBPDh I wrote in my journal. " i am split in two. Head is doing OK, getting my work done, paying my bills, looking after the stuff of life. Heart is broken and needs to be healed." For me what has been important is doing the healing while being on my own, not looking to another relationship to fix me. It was a pretty deep and dark hole at first. I just let myself be in that place for awhile, feeling the rawness and emptiness of where I found myself.
Logged
blecker
Offline
Posts: 122
Re: duality
«
Reply #4 on:
March 02, 2013, 10:53:03 AM »
I have experienced what you are feeling.
I think it is a fairly normal response to trama. The mind finds ways of processing the sharp edges of painfull realities by greying them/shifting them and eventually integrating them.
Dreams also work to soften the blows of conscious reality.
Logged
mango_flower
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 689
Re: duality
«
Reply #5 on:
March 02, 2013, 11:04:54 AM »
Yep. I never thought I'd settle down, get engaged or whatever.
Love was for other people.
And then it happened for me, at the ripe old age of 32... . wow!
She sold me the dream. And I bought it.
It was only a year but feels like she was in my life for so much longer.
Some days I don't feel it's all real, it's like, she's still mine, and is just away. But she'll be back soon, cos what we had was so real, right? How can it have all ended?
Other days I try to go back to how I was a year ago, as if I'd never met her and had this amazing year with her... . but it's so hard cos it's all changed me as a person. It's confusing.
You asked what helps - for me, it's spending time with friends she never met, old friends I had before I was with her. Doing little things I used to do before we met (e.g. reading magazines - I never had time for that when with her, as we were together 24/7 when not at work).
Day at a time. xxx
Logged
HarmKrakow
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1226
Re: duality
«
Reply #6 on:
March 02, 2013, 01:54:58 PM »
I don't consider it purely duality. I consider it evolvement. As in 1 personality which goes from high to low, and eventually will collide with you.
And yeah, considering all was a dream is not a bad idea. You suddenly wake up and wish you can get pulled back into it, but then you wake up and you realize you have to continue ...
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
duality
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...