Unlike many I today got full closure, she left me for a women

[ChrisJ31]

So 6 months on, 4 months nc, I finally have full closure.

I kind of feel bad telling you as I know that is what a lot on here are looking for.

I was pretty certain when she kicked me out and moved I knew the area she had gone too.

I have known for the last month that I would be working in the supermarket in this area this week and if there was a time I would see her it would be here.

Well I wasn't wrong!

I work on a promotions stand in the supermarket, today I was sat down at the stand sending a text, I looked up and at the flower stand directly opposite my stand, she is standing there looking at flowers with a big butch lesbian girl.

I'm pretty sure she had seen me as she looked flustered, she walked round to my side of the flowers, I walked up and said 'hello', she looked at me shocked and said 'o hello, how are you?'

I said 'so this is what you left me for... .  another women, she says... .  'I'm not prepared to discuss it with you'

They then went shopping, came through the checkout and had to walk all down the isle to the exit straight past me.

She looked completely flustered, bright Red and deeply ashamed, fumbling her handbag not looking at me as I looked right at them... .  ( the walk of shame )

Then I saw them talking ' presume she was telling her gf that was me.

Her girlfriend looked back right at me, I looked right at her and smiled ' the kind of your welcome to her, good luck smile'

She left her husband for me, cheated on me and now is with a butch women.

I have mixed emotions, I have my closour now from that but I could never imagine that, It did cross my mind when we first split but she has never shown interest in women.

It has just made me realise she has very very severe problems.

I got my answers/ closour that I never thought I would get, at the moment it feels good but still hard to process.

She had been indirectly trying to contact me over the internet I just hope this doesn't make her contact me.

My friend said she is probably so ashamed and never thought that would happen that she won't.

Hope so.

[Slowlybutsurely]

Hey Chris,

I'm sorry you got your heart broken by your exgf. That is very sad, and we all know how it feels, I'm sure.  

While I totally feel for you, I want to gently point out to you that being gay, or dating someone of the same sex, or leaving a man to be with a woman or vice versa, isn't abnormal or evidence of serious problems in itself. Cheating sucks, for sure, but being gay or bi or whatever--a lot of people are. I am myself. I was married to man, and then realized I was not straight. It happens more than you think.

Just wanted to nudge you to think about how you frame this. Many of us reading/posting here are not straight. And we are good people.  

p.s. I think butch dykes are hot!   

[ChrisJ31]

Hey Chris,

I'm sorry you got your heart broken by your exgf. That is very sad, and we all know how it feels, I'm sure.  

While I totally feel for you, I want to gently point out to you that being gay, or dating someone of the same sex, or leaving a man to be with a woman or vice versa, isn't abnormal or evidence of serious problems in itself. Cheating sucks, for sure, but being gay or bi or whatever--a lot of people are. I am myself. I was married to man, and then realized I was not straight. It happens more than you think.

Just wanted to nudge you to think about how you frame this. Many of us reading/posting here are not straight. And we are good people.  

p.s. I think butch dykes are hot!   

Thanks for your reply.

I'm Bisexual and proud of it, I  just don't have to shout it out, my family and friends knew.

She knew this and occasionally I could broach the subject but it was awkward.

So I am far from homophobic, I'm just shocked as it was never anything that she spoke of.

I'm not saying that because it was a women she left me for makes her more mentally ill, it is just that she like many other people suffering with BPD don't turley know who they are.

Anyway you have outed me but I felt compelled to reply : )

[Slowlybutsurely]

Ah, I see!

Well, at least I outed you, 

Hope you feel better. 

[ChrisJ31]

Ha har

I do but it was something I never expected.

But it answered the questions I never thought I would get, man or women, as when you get dispatched like that you can presume a million and one different what if's.